Women Pt 3

swear I must of done something bad in prior life, because I know I have not done anything bad in this life, and yet I am cursed with the strangest to bad luck when dealing with women and relationships. The following incidents have all happened in the past 3 weeks.
Incident 1. I am at a bar when a cute waitress, comes up to me and asks do I recognize her, I take a moment run her through the check list, did we have sex? nodid we have a bad date? nofriend of my ex? nodid I kick her out of a club from my bouncing days? no Then it comes to me the young lady is one of my former students, all grown up and working in a bar. When I acknoledged that i remembered her, she then started to hit on me, and I am not talking just some waitress type flirting in order to get a bigger tip, I am talking about taking the female genitalia, rolling it into a little ball, then throwing it at me. All I can say is UNCOMFORTABLE. And to make matters worse all of my guy friends who are sitting at the table with me are encouraging me to take her up on her advances.Conclusion, yes she is 22, yes she was my student, yes I would feel like that freaky teacher who had a baby by a 13 year old boy, Mary Letournaeu, or whatever the hell her name is. Result I have made another new friend who will Lust over me
Incident 2 I met a girl who seem pretty cool, but according to my friends I am not this girls type. I don't know what her type is, but damn I'm funny, smart, reasonably attractive, great in bed(self proclaimed title), employed, home owner, not a player. What more could a girl ask for? Conclusion: We shall see what happens, Result: I have made another friend who I will lust after
Incident 3 I am out with my puppy nanook(if you don't know who he is, then you are no friend of mine, he is out doing his thing getting all the female attention, I am Robin to his Batman, nobody is even noticing me, except for one drunk girl, now because she is drunk I am not really paying much attention to her, but as the evening grows I am starting to become more interested in what drunk girl has to say, she studys art, has a season pass to the Walker, plays chess, loves Scrabble, plays pool, is cute, and seems genuinely interested in me. Then my luck kicks in, when asked about employment, apparently she has been fired from a bunch of places, yes the warning flags are at half mast, then she tells me there is a warrant out for her arrest in her home town, now the flags are at full mast.Conclusion: We exchange numbers with me hoping she will be too drunk to remember me the next day.Result: I have nade another friend who I can get drunk with if anything happens blame it on the alcohol, because this girl is not bring home to mom material

The end of an era

So today was the last day of school for me, normally a time filled with joy knowing that I will not have any school resposibilites for the next 2.5 months. Now dont get me wrong, I love my job, I really do like this school which I am teaching at rt now, but over the last year i have actively trying to change careers. Today as I am driving back to school from a field trip I helped out on, I realised that today could quite possibly be the last day that I ever teach. It finally dawned on me that the job which I have wanted to do since I was a child, and which I went to college for, and a job which I did well could well be coming to an end. A strange occurence also happened tonight, I am sitting at the Red Dragon enjoying a non alcoholic beverage, and chatting with the biggest myspace whore on my friend list, when a student who I taught my first year of teaching walks in and sits down for a drink. Weird on the day when I am contemplating ending my career, a student from the beginning appears. Is this a sign?

Surgery

Ok so I had my surgery to repair my knee, I have been rehabing the shit out of it, I have been in constant communication with the sherrifs dept, and thet seem somewhat eager for me to join their department, i am kind of excited for their department except that I have to do jail time, not my first choice of jobs, but the promotional opportunities are huge. Hopefully I will get that job.

Explanation

I guess I should offer an explanation for my last post, and also as to the whereabouts of where I have been for the last 2 weeks, at least I think that is how long it has been since my last post. Firstly as to why I was so down recently, a few weeks ago, I had received notice that I had passed the Torrance Police Department entrance exam, yay for me because I was not htat confident on my results, they then wanted me to fly back out to Torrance and participate in the first oral examinationm nervously I agreed, and flew out and had my interview, again I was not that confident on theresults of the interview, it was a tough interview, and I was very nervous, definitely not my normal smooth, suave, james bond self. I was told I would I would receive the results in a few days, and if succesful I would have to fly out again the next week for the physical. Now these impromptu trips are niot getting any cheaper, and on top of that I have to take time of work, and lastly I hate flying. Well a few days pass and I receive the results for my oral and written tests, turns out I scored an 89.4 % not to shabby if I do say so, but it would have been nicer if I had scored that 90% and recieved an A, or as Torrance PD calls it a Band 1. So I book my flight, arrange for more time off from work and toddle on back to SoCal. On the plane I looked at my scores again, and saw that something did not add up correctly, so I did the math of my combined scores, and it turns out that I am Band 1, Go Future it's your birthday!
Next day I am ready to take the physical, first test we have is to scale a wall and sprint to a finish line, I try to be superman and hurdle the wall, what happens as soon as I land I feel my left knee go on me, FUCK, my knee hurts but I am so hopped up on caffeine and adrenaline that I am able to continue with the tests. To cut a long story short, I ended up getting the hignest score in the physical out of all the applicants, I am ecstatic but i know that my knee is messed up.
Next day I go for my pre background interview, everything seems to be going fine, I have done a couple of these so I know the routine, be as honest as possibe, I admit to all of my past transgression, all ONE of them in the last ten years, then the personnel sargent says I am not Torrance material. Not Torrance material, what the fuck does that mean, i scored the highest in the physical with a fucked up knee, and I think I was the only applicant to score a band 1 out of all the applicants who qualified for the physical. i am pretty dissapointed after spending all that money to fly out, and take the time of the work. And on top of that i need a knee surgery.
Next dissapointment to hit me,I meet a girl at a club, we hit it off, she seems cool, she tells me to hit her up from her myspace page, I check her myspace page, and I find out she has a boyfriend and 2 kids. Why is she flriting with me?????? Why am I prone to all of this dissapointment?

Why

WHY
That’s it! I am now officially throwing in the towel, I don’t understand why Life throws me a curveball at every junction in my life, I have tried to live a good existence, I have tried to be kind to those who I have met, and yet every time that something good is about to happen to me life throws some type of obstacle that holds me back. I am ready to just say fuck it, what is the point, I try and it does no fucking good. I cannot take the curveballs no more.

Plagued by idiots

Last night I am at my favorite watering hole enjoying a diet coke, sitting with Nanook, I am just chilling waiting for my appetizer, Nanook is flirting with every female in the bar, when eventually one of Nanooks fans starts to pay me some attention. (I think I must be the only wing man to a dog). Now this girl was hawt, I mean we are talking good spank material hawt. She sits down and starts to talk to me, and is genuinely showing interest in me, I meant to the point where she is asking me for some sugar, and I am not talking about the granulated kind. During conversation I told her I was heading out to California, her response " I don't lke the East Coast" Right there and then I think you actually heard my labido deflating. Well as you all know, my next thought was

NEXT
I'm not asking for much here, some what attractive, a modicum of intelligence, and hopefully the labido of a college freshman away from home for the first time.

The hired Muscle

Two days ago, I received a requst from a friend If I could help him move one of his friends furniture, I figured he needed an extra pair of hands to make the workload easier, so I agreed, reluctantly I have to admit, because I hate moving, but my friend has done many favours for me in the past, so I acquised like the nice guy that I am.
When my buddy picked me up, the first thing that came out of his mouth was" this is a clandestine operation" confused I asked how is moving a clandestine operation? Turns out what we were doing was waiting for his friend's husband to leave to goto work, and we were going to move all of her stuff into a uhaul, so that she could leave her husband. It turns out I was asked to help move not because that I could help with the work load, but more for my talents in fighting. I will admit this did not sit well with me for a couple of reasons
1. I am not a hired gun/goon, whatever you want to call it.
2. this is a situation I know nothing about, and don't want to be involved in.
3. I don't want to get hurt, shot, or whatever over some bullshit, as i have stated before I am allergic to dying., but
Luckily the guy never showed up, and we was able to load all of her stuff onto the uhaul without any problems.
I don't know what marital problems they had, but I hope I never come home to an empty house like whay this guy experienced.

what language do you speak

Interesting story here, well I think it's interesting! This week a buddy of mine tried to set me up on a blind date, ok I figure, no harm in meeting new people. The young lady in question calls me on Thursday afternoon, everything seems fine she seems nice, asks a lot of questions, then the almighty faux pas come into play. Now for those of you that know me, have heard my accent, yes I have a british accent. When the female in question asks what kind of accent do you have? you sound like you are from Texas. WTF since when did a Texas drawl sound like an English accent? Now if you know me, you know that I have a pretty acerbic wit, and a pretty sarcastic tongue. I held my tongue on that last comment. Next ridiculous question to come my way was you lived in England? What language do they speak there? Ok i am trying to be nice and not insult a person the first day I am talking to them, but damn it is taking every ounce of self restraint to not let the sarcastic monster out. All I can say is
NEXT

Ding Dong the idiot is back

Aaaarrrggghhhh, my roomate got back together were her moron boyfriend, now I have to put up with his dumb mug back at my house at the weekends. I was so pissed of when she texted me the news. His ass was back at my house this week, I couldn't even stomach being around them, I just went to bed early so I wouldn't have to see him. This guy is such a putz, he hasn't even bought her flowers for taking him back. Interesting note, when he asked roomie what my reaction was to her taking him back, roomie told him that I thought he was a moron, funny stuff, he almost wants my approval in a Cosby kind of way. Aaaah well we will see how long she will put up with his shit this time around. I am out to SoCal on thursday again! for more police stuff, I am anticipating my move sometime in the next 3 months. I hope everybody has a good week.

Internet Girl

Well unfortunately me and internet girl failed to make a love connection. We did have a very romantic date, we spent many hours conversing over the phone and playing online games, but in the end,I guess there was something about me she was not attracted to. Am i mad? no not really. Am I sad? yes very much so. There are very few people that I make connections with, and when i do, there always seem to be some type of obstacle which prevents me from reaching true happiness. Am I dissapointed? Hell yeah, fter hearing about her ex who was abusive, and all the other guys she has dated, I would consider myself a prince among men. But unfortunately the good guy finishes last again. Again it will be back to the drawing board, hoping for true love, but more than likely experiencing dissapointment.

Women and their penchant for assholes

Ok I am here today to vent to all the women out there who sya they want a "nice, good" guy, but instead date morons/assholes who they know are no good for them. Now what would spur such a venemous post from me?
My new roomate, a friend who I have known for a few years, has been dating this dork. Now I may not be the coolest cat on the block, but I do know an idiot when I meet him. The first time I met this moron it was instant dislike, I do not know why I disliked this idiot, but I did. I would always hear roomie complain about his lack of compromise, and other misgivings. I would not say anything because he was her boyfriend, and I did not want to seem like a hater. But last week when he dumped her, I was happy and sad for roomie. I am sorry that she got dumped, but happy because the moron was gone, and now she could concentrate on finding somebody more deserving off her. Unfortunately the break up only lasted a week, and now the moron is back in the picture. I wonder why do we these things to ourselves? myself included. We/I know that this person is not right for us, but yet we/I continue to put up with their shit. I am all for compromise in a relationship, but there are just some things that you cannot ignore. Do we/I really want to put the effort in with somebody who we/I are not compatible with? Do we/I want to put up with people who do not show emotion? Do we/ I want to have conversations with somebody that we/I have nothing in common with. The last year and a half, I have been searching for my soulmate, I have met many people, and for some reason or another, things have not worked out, either because of something I have done, or something that the other person has done.( mostly my fault, I will admit, not everybody understands my quirks and eccentricities). But back to my original point, there is an old african saying if you are afraid of being alone you will end up with shit. Kind of crude, but a truer word was never spoken.

Alcohol and Me

Alcohol and me do not mix
So this weekend i went out fot the first time in months, and in going out I remembered some things about myself.
1. I have a low tolerance for alcohol
2. I am an asshole when I drink, examples to come later
3. I am an even more of an incredible horn ball when I drink, if that is possible.4. I forget about eating healthy when I drink.

Friday night I went out with a guy I met at a fight party last week, he turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and for somebody like myself who does not make friends easily, it was refreshing to hang out with somebody and not get annoyed at them within 10 minutes. That night we started drinking at the red dragon, they have a drink there called a wanderers punch which could run my lawn mower. After one of these drinks I willingly relenquished the keys to my car, I was already catching a major buzz. After the red dragon we headed to Williams for their 7 dollar steaks and more alcohol. Now I am feeling quite tipsy. From there we went to Tango Sushi to meet up with my roomate and her crazy friends, turns out one of her friends recognized me from somewhere, when I told her I used to bounce, I am greeted with a torrade of insults, apparently I was an asshole to her at some stage, I couldn't remember her but hey I have been an asshole to a lot of people in my time.(sidenote, I am not really an asshole, just misunderstood a lot of the time). From tango Sushi onto The Drink for EVEN MORE ALCOHOL, here the asshole in me comes out.
Asshole example 1. Walked past a girl and stole a french fry from her plate.
Asshole example 2. Insulted a bartender when he was flipping bottles ala cocktail. I asked him does the drink come any time soon.
Asshole example 3. Almost started fight in bathroom because some asshole tried to cut in line, yes he deserved a whooping, but violence does not solve anything, I could have quite easily done a jedi mind trick on him, but oh no, I had drunk muscles.
Note to self stay away from alcohol in the future
Saturday night I went out with roomie and new buddy, but I stayed away from the alcohol this time, which was a good thing, only thing is when sober, i find myself to be more of a shrinking violet when everybody else is getting crazy. Roomie and her crazy friends decided to flash their breasts every chance they got, ooh I love boobies! Did see one cute girl, and was very tempted to talk to her, but she was on a date, and I figured it would be kind of rude if I approached her, but I did see her sneaking glances at me. But I had to respect the rules of the game, now if alcohol had been involved, i would have definitely gone and talked to her. Hopeully my good actions will be rewarded in the future. Oh yeah and I found out what I did to that girl, it turns out I confiscated her fake ID at some stage, so Iwasn't really an asshole, jst a person who did my job rt

Heading back out to SOCAL

Ok the good news, I passed the Torrance PD test, the bad news, I have to get back on a fucking plane, and fly out there to have my interview, and if successful with that, I am back out there again 1 week later for my physical.
So I had the date with internet girl on Tuesday last week, and It was a great date, started off kind of rough because I wanted to take her rock climbing, but we couldn't find a wall, and the one which we did find had lessons going on that day. So we went bowling, and had a great time, I then took her to a little italion spot for dinner, where I got the hostess to open the section in the back exclusively for us, it was trez romantic. After dinner we went to the dog park and hung out there with Nanook, another romantic gesture, we had the whole park to ourselves, it was a full moon, and she kissed me! Totally making my night, I then took her to the lake, so that we could do some "stargazing". I totally felt like a teenager all over again, the thrills of being by the lake in a state of semi undress, hoping that the park police dont come by. All in all a great date, with great company, I am hoping for another one, but knowing my luck with women, we shall see.

Back in the Mini Apple

Ok finally back, and I am surrounded by MY modern comforts, Internet access, cable TV, Xbox360, and last but not least my puppy. This last trip to SoCal was probably my worst one ever. It starts off with another airline story from hell. On this last trip I had some more law enforcement tests to take, and I was planning on going to the mountains for a few days of snowboarding. With this plan in hand I decided to bring my snowboard with me. So you now have the setting for my upcoming trip. Thursday night I leave Minneapolis and make my way to the City of Angels, here lies my first problem, I arrive in LA, my suitcase arrives in LA minus a foot, but my snowboard is nowhere to be found. Ok I can deal with this luggage gets misplaced all the time, especially mine, it will be on the next flight and they will ship it to me, I am still calm.
Friday, I meet with my background investigator, and discuss a few skeletons in my closet, still no snowboard, I am getting a little concerned, I call the airline, and they say it should be on the next flight, mutha fuckin liars.
Saturday, I take another polygraph, pass this one without any hitches, but I still disbelive the validity of these tests. Ok i was supposed to leave for the mountains after my test, but no snowboard. So i wait one more day.
Sunday I decide thats it I'm going i can rent some shitty equipment when i get there, i drive to Santa Monica to pick up my snowboarding buddies, just as i arrive at the door,I receive a phone call, my asshole friends are baling on me at the last moment, after I have just driven up from huntington beach to pick up their punk asses. I am so pissed off I drive back down to HB, and hang out with my friend's daughter. It's amazing how kids can make you feel better about yourself.
Monday, I still have not heard about my snowboard, I call the airlines AGAIN. I am now livid, how fucking hard is it to find a six foot fucking bag. I am beside myself with rage, I tell the manager that I need my snowboard, i am going boarding tomorrow.
Tuesday, I arise nice and early, pack a bag and take off for the mountains. Once there I find a rental store and rent some equipment, my first run of the day, and I see that the equipment that was rented to me was absolute horseshit, the board had no edges, and the bindings were not secure, I spent my first run on my ass the whole way down. I check out the rental store at the mountain, and they have high end rental gear for rent, I rent their equipment, and am able to have a better time boarding, except for the annoying drizzzle, which kept on threatening to turn into rain. I'm all ready to stay the night and board again tomorrow, except the forecast is rain for tomorrow. FUUUUCCCKKK, i head back to HB to chill for the rest of the week.
Tuesday evening, I recieve a phone call from the OC sherrif dept. they want me to test on Wednesday for their department, cool, I am like OC better than LA anyways, but that is a vent for another day. I also got another phonecall, which turned out to be the highlight of my week.
I am a member of an online dating site, and I recieve a phonecall from one of the girls I am interested in, I have to say things were really good with this young lady, we connected on so many issues, our conversations were funny, we talked for 5 hours that night!
Wednesday, I take the OC test, and aced that, I meet with my OC background investigator, tell him about my past indiscretions, I never thought that this stuff would ever come up to haunt me. After all my testing I return to HB. Later on that day I recieve a call from the sheriffs dept, I am sorry but due to past drug usage, I must wait a year before applying, ah well cest la vie. I guess this is the price I must pay for stupid peer pressure incidents. I chat with online girl again for 2 hours. Oh yeah my snowboard finally showed up, after my trip ended.
Thursday, I have the Torrance PD police test. Wow, this was the toughest police test I have taken so far. hopefully i did well on this test,but we will find out soon enough. I did not do anything for the rest of the time, except chat with online girl the whole time.
Sunday, I am finally getting ready to come back home, at the airport I run into an associate who I used to bounce with, nice guy, but just a little strange, and he is a close talker, freaky!
Monday A.M I arrive in Minneapolis, and goto pick up my snowboard from the office, aarrrgghhh they ruined my snowboard bag, ruined my suitcase, and lost my luggage. The only good thing to come of this trip was a phonecall from a girl who lives in Minneapolis.
What a god awful trip.

Socal again

I am in SoCal right now, cant really blog, will update you all when I return to the Mini Apple

Surreal

What posesses a parent to want to have a converstion with me , when I am in the bathroom, and I'm not talking two guys discussing football at a urinal whilst trying to see who has the bigger dick, no I am talking about a parent standing on the other side of a door trying to have a conversation with me about her son. I mean really people, can it not wait three minutes, eight if I decide to release the poisons,if ya know what i mean. My life is becoming a David Lynch special.

Jaded

You know you have become jaded from teaching, when a student gets expelled for bringing a gun to school, and you don't think anything of it. Sigh hopefully my career change is not far away.

I really hate Minneapolis

Ok so another boring weekend for me, did not do anything at all, and the people who i did ask to do something with either blew me off, or had other plans. Either way, I hate this fuckin place. Luckily I will be in SoCal for 8 days doing more testing, and hopefully getting to do some boarding. I did spend a shit load of money this weekend, on more techno geek gadget bullshit, that and taking Nanook on some major walks this weekend are the only highlights of my weekend. It's a real shame when a person actually looks forward to work because they don't enjoy the lack of social interaction that the weekend brings, not that interacting with a bunch of middle school kids is better, but at least it is some sort of interaction.

You know it's getting warmer

Signs that it is getting warmer in Minneapolis

1. White people start to wear shorts and t-shirts outside even though it is still only 35 degrees outside.
2. Crime goes up.
3. The local prostitutes are back out on the streets.
4. All the cars have the same shitty dirty melted snow paint job
5. We actually have sunny days

Pet Blogging Mondays

No pet blogging mondays this week, no time to take pics of America's Next Top Model, even though he just got back from a 100 dollar grooming session, and is looking gooooood in the hood.

2 weeks in one post

Ok folks I am a back, I did not give any notice, but for the last week I was back out in southern California for more law enforcement tests. My trip to LA sucked ass, i flew by a different airline than what I normally travel, and in doing so went to a different terminal, this time around I did get the "random security check" next time this happens I am going to state "but i am white, this is just a tan" Once on the plane I was seated next to a complete tool, Sun Country has very narrow seats, and there was no way me and this other guy who incidently was a pretty big guy be able to sit in the same row, when I informed him that I going to find another seat because we are too big to be sitting in the sme row, he responded yeah but the chicks dig that. My God what a moron, who says these things to a complete stranger, I dont know why you are, but
My tests went 50/50 with me doing well on one, and shitty on the other, I also got to do a ride along with Torrance PD, that was pretty cool, I got to ride along with their CSI unit, did not get to investigate any murders, but did get to see them investigate a burglary, and watch them do the whole dusting for finger prints. I also got to chase after some skin heads, and watch them get arrested. All cool stuff except I didnt have a vest on and the office drew his gun, and I am allergic to being shot.
A down point of my trip to So Cal, I took my friend's 8 year old daughter, to see the movie eight below. Words can not describe how angry I am at Disney, this movie which in the trailers was advertised a type of cutesy movie for kids, was one of the saddest movies Ihave ever seen, and this was only compounded by my friend's daughter bawling her eyes out in the movie, I had to leave the movie early for fear of emotionally scarring a little girl. I have one thing to say Disney, FUCK YOU.
Once back in Minneapolis, i walked into a huge shit storm, the semester changed so I have got all new classes, now I have to take the time to break a whole new slew of kids to my way of doing things. On top of that grades are due, and I was not made aware what date they were due. So I have spent the last couple of days figuring out grades, and inputting them into our archaic computer system.
Now here is the big story of the week about 10 minutes into my class the assistant principal comes into my class and tells me the principal needs my help with one of the kids who I do volunteer work with, now a quick synopsis on this young man, his father just recently passed away, and I have been doing some mentoring with him, and helping him adjust to his loss. But back to my story, I rush to the office where I see my mentee wrestling with another member of staff, I approach him thinking that by me talking with him and the relationship that we have built that he would calm down and try and talk things through with me, no such luck! He continues to wig out, so I have to restrain him, now when I say restrain, not the way that i would normally restrain somebody in a bar, but restrain in a way that I am not harming the student, or that he is no way harming himself. After about five minutes off trying to get him to calm down, i have to drag him into an empty class room and wrestle him to the ground, this kid is completely losing it, I finally have to put him on the ground and basicall lean on him until the police and an ambulance arrive. This kid was so wound up he struggled for 15 minutes straight, then all of a sudden passed out from exhaustion, I mean he just conked out, scared the shit out of me too, I thought I had seriously hurt him, but his pule was still strong once he passed out. Eventually the police arrive, of course the kid is passed out by then. Once he came too, my mentee could not remember anything that happened, now I am mired in paperwork relating to this incident trying to document everything just in case something might arise out of the situation, luckily I have a bunch of witnessess, not that I expect anything, but it has been my experience to always cover your ass, especially with Minneapolis Public Schools.
I will try to blog with some more frequency, but honestly I am thinking about abandoning the whole blog thing, I just dont have the time rt now.

Pet Blogging Mondays

Ok I tried to take the same picture of Nanook with the chewed hat, only this time I ran him for three miles, and wrestled with him for another 15 minutes, just so that I could tucker him out in order for me to take the damn picture. So far Nanook has cost me two wallets $30, two xbox live headsets $40, two pairs of shoes 150$, countless hangers, one baseball cap 10$, a cell phone 100$, a loaf of bread $2, a chipotle burrito $5, box of cereal $4, two dvd cases $40. Happiness he brings me Priceless

I miss my meat

Ok day 1 without red meat is over, I am sure that this will get easier as time grows by, but rt now I am fighting a monkey on my back, and the weekend is coming up also (the time I pig out the most) I have cancelled my Korean BBQ plans, and will instead will be dining at the always ever tasty Olive Garden, plenty of tasty pasta dishes, which dont involve red meat. I also will be having my second three day weekend in a row, gotta love teacher schedules.

Lent and my sacrifice Day 1

Ok it is 7:30 and I am already starting to go through withdrawal symptoms, at the suggestion of my partner in crime, Nicee, I have decided to forego red meat for the period of Lent, I think this is a big enough sacrifice, and still attainable unlike some other habits which I would have no chance of giving up (I swear my hairy palms are a birth defect). I am already feeling the effects of no steak bagel or roast beef bagel for breakfast. I could always eat cereal, but damnit where is the satisfaction in that. To me cereal has always been the food which you eat late at night, whilst watching TV, not something which gives you great oral satisfaction after fasting the night away. OK 39 more days to go, and I was supposed to do a Korean BBQ tomorrow night.

We will be united, be patient my secret love.

Lent and my dilemma

Ok Lent is here and I have no idea what I should give up for lent, now the norm would be to give up meat for forty days and forty nights, now knowing what my diet is like, that is not going to happen. I could give up sex, but I'm not currently seeing anybody, so the chances of me having sex are kind of slim, so what the hell am I giving up(can I use hell and lent in the same sentence?) I could always try to give up masturbation (yeah I almost kept a straight face when I wrote that). I could give up alcohol, but I barely drink as it is. I could try to give up celibacy, but again thats something that I want to give up. Decisions, decisions. Ok blog family, I want suggestions as to how I can repent during this time of soul searching and reflection.

Where the hell have you been

Ok an explanation as to where I have been for the last week, last Monday, I went to Taekwando, and I whooped some major ass that week, 2nd degree, 3rd degree, it did not matter I was in the zone, they came and they got whooped. But my best fight came against the instructor, a 5th degree black belt who I have never been even to score on in 5 years of training with him. Now Jeff is a phenomenal fighter, tall, long limbed, strong and quick, I mean we are talking cobra like quickness. I don’t match up well against him because of my height, anytime I try to attack him he pretty much either pops me up the side the head with one of his gorilla length arms, or blasts me in the stomach with one of his mule kicks. Jeff had seen my success against his other instructors, and was already to put me in my place, like he has done so many times before. We bow to each other and get ready to fight, we are toying around with each other feeling each other out, every time he attacks I side step and go into a defensive mode, I’m not attacking him because I am not ready to eat one his mule like kicks. Ten out of know where he just rushes me throwing a whole bunch of punches bruce Lee style, I retreat but as I am running away I instinctively jumped in the air and threw a spinning hook kick just trying to keep him of me, much to my surpise I connected with Jeff square in his jaw, I mean a good hard solid kick. After realizing that I had finally hit the one person I have never been able to hit in five years, I ran out of the dojo whooping it up. Once I returned the ring Jeff decided to make me pay, within in 10 seconds he had sent a kick my way which allowed me the brief feeling of flying thru air. After regaining my stance snd my breath, and making sure I hadn’t cracked any ribs, I decided fuck this stand up shit, I am taking this fight to the ground, luckily this is one area in which I have a little bit more expertise than Jeff, not a lot, but enough for me to hold my own and not sustain anymore damage to my already hurting body. So we goto the ground and pretty much just roll around for the next few minutes until we are both spent.
Later that night, I go to target, upon exiting my car, I almost collapse, I mean I cant fucking move my hip, I am literally keeled over the car next to me trying to regain my balance, and the worst thing about it is people are walking past me without asking if I need some assistance, this is why I hate shopping in the nice areas. These stuck up middle class republican fucks just looked at me and kept on walking, I am bent over a car in agony trying to get to my feet, and not one person comes to my assistance. This is he same fucking Target where a customer called the cops on me for parking in a handicapped zone, even though the person who I was driving around had a handicapped permit, they still called the cops, but now I am digressing into a totally different post. Anyways I can now walk again, turns out my lack of mobility was due to a really bad groin pull.

Pet Blogging Mondays

Aaaarrrgh second time I am typing this post. This week will be a twofer for PBM, due to my lack of participation in my own creation last week. This weeks picture is also going to give me a fuckin conniption. Now for all you people who think Nanook is the cutest thing since Rudy from the Cosby Show, let me tell you their is a flip side to that coin, Nanook is mischeivous, I mean really Mischeivous, I'm talking mischievous like Mr. Mxyzptlk(now who gets that reference?) Now what prompted this latest escapade into the idea for PBM was Nanook chewed my favourite hat, so I thought it would make a good picture if I took a picture of Nanook wearing the chewed hat, now this sounded a whole lot easier than what it really is, after many failed attempts at trying to take this picture I chose to take a picture of what happens when Nanook does act like a complete ass.

Pet Blogging Mondays

Pet blogging Mondays has been interrupted due to I am in a lot of muthafuckin pain. We will resume our normal schedule when I can see straight and not wince with every movement.

Welcome To America

Welcome to America,
On Wednesday I was finally sworn in as an American Citizen, I am now finally allowed to vote, this is huge for me, I have never had the opportunity to vote in any of the countries which I have lived in. I now have a voice.
On another note I would like to welcome Nicee to my blog family, check out her blog this is a very funny young lady, and I am sure her humour will translate into her blog.
Has anybody been watching the Winter Olympics? Am I the only one to notice that almost every American athlete has some type of affliction be it recovering from a stomach bug, to their great uncle twice removed has just passed away. Enough of the damn excuses, if you are not well enough to compete, them let some one else take your spot, I am sick and tired about hearing what a great testament to the human spirit, or how amazingly talented, that person is. Knock it off NBC and just show the Olympics for what it is, a collection of the world’s best athletes coming together to showcase their skills, not a bunch of Americans with excuses for why they did not get a gold medal. The Olympics is a world event.

Valentines Day

Now I know a lot of my fellow bloggers out there really dislike V-day, and I really can understand where they are coming from, yes I agree we should treat our loved ones special every day, yes I agree that it is a slap in the face to those of us who are single (yes I am one of them), yes it is a "holiday" perpetuated by hallmark. But in all honesty, it feels nice to receive a card, chocolate, special trinket, whatever floats your boat, on this day. Not to say that we cannot do the same thing on other days, but having a special day set aside for this is really not that bad of a thing. If i had somebody right now, I would shower that person with affection, and I would not feel guilty about it. But now that is out of the way on to my V-day. I received a couple of gifts from my students and I participated in a secret valentine at work. The amount of candy i received today would give a dentist a heart attack, I may develop diabetes if I keep on munching on all this crap. From my secret Valentine I received some Mexican peanuts, which tasted like ass ( go figure, white people, see link), and a pizza for lunch. I never thought that I could put on so much weight in one day because of a freakin holiday which wasn't Xmas or Thanksgiving. Hopefully next year I will have my own valentine.