Surreal

What posesses a parent to want to have a converstion with me , when I am in the bathroom, and I'm not talking two guys discussing football at a urinal whilst trying to see who has the bigger dick, no I am talking about a parent standing on the other side of a door trying to have a conversation with me about her son. I mean really people, can it not wait three minutes, eight if I decide to release the poisons,if ya know what i mean. My life is becoming a David Lynch special.

Jaded

You know you have become jaded from teaching, when a student gets expelled for bringing a gun to school, and you don't think anything of it. Sigh hopefully my career change is not far away.

I really hate Minneapolis

Ok so another boring weekend for me, did not do anything at all, and the people who i did ask to do something with either blew me off, or had other plans. Either way, I hate this fuckin place. Luckily I will be in SoCal for 8 days doing more testing, and hopefully getting to do some boarding. I did spend a shit load of money this weekend, on more techno geek gadget bullshit, that and taking Nanook on some major walks this weekend are the only highlights of my weekend. It's a real shame when a person actually looks forward to work because they don't enjoy the lack of social interaction that the weekend brings, not that interacting with a bunch of middle school kids is better, but at least it is some sort of interaction.

You know it's getting warmer

Signs that it is getting warmer in Minneapolis

1. White people start to wear shorts and t-shirts outside even though it is still only 35 degrees outside.
2. Crime goes up.
3. The local prostitutes are back out on the streets.
4. All the cars have the same shitty dirty melted snow paint job
5. We actually have sunny days

Pet Blogging Mondays

No pet blogging mondays this week, no time to take pics of America's Next Top Model, even though he just got back from a 100 dollar grooming session, and is looking gooooood in the hood.

2 weeks in one post

Ok folks I am a back, I did not give any notice, but for the last week I was back out in southern California for more law enforcement tests. My trip to LA sucked ass, i flew by a different airline than what I normally travel, and in doing so went to a different terminal, this time around I did get the "random security check" next time this happens I am going to state "but i am white, this is just a tan" Once on the plane I was seated next to a complete tool, Sun Country has very narrow seats, and there was no way me and this other guy who incidently was a pretty big guy be able to sit in the same row, when I informed him that I going to find another seat because we are too big to be sitting in the sme row, he responded yeah but the chicks dig that. My God what a moron, who says these things to a complete stranger, I dont know why you are, but
My tests went 50/50 with me doing well on one, and shitty on the other, I also got to do a ride along with Torrance PD, that was pretty cool, I got to ride along with their CSI unit, did not get to investigate any murders, but did get to see them investigate a burglary, and watch them do the whole dusting for finger prints. I also got to chase after some skin heads, and watch them get arrested. All cool stuff except I didnt have a vest on and the office drew his gun, and I am allergic to being shot.
A down point of my trip to So Cal, I took my friend's 8 year old daughter, to see the movie eight below. Words can not describe how angry I am at Disney, this movie which in the trailers was advertised a type of cutesy movie for kids, was one of the saddest movies Ihave ever seen, and this was only compounded by my friend's daughter bawling her eyes out in the movie, I had to leave the movie early for fear of emotionally scarring a little girl. I have one thing to say Disney, FUCK YOU.
Once back in Minneapolis, i walked into a huge shit storm, the semester changed so I have got all new classes, now I have to take the time to break a whole new slew of kids to my way of doing things. On top of that grades are due, and I was not made aware what date they were due. So I have spent the last couple of days figuring out grades, and inputting them into our archaic computer system.
Now here is the big story of the week about 10 minutes into my class the assistant principal comes into my class and tells me the principal needs my help with one of the kids who I do volunteer work with, now a quick synopsis on this young man, his father just recently passed away, and I have been doing some mentoring with him, and helping him adjust to his loss. But back to my story, I rush to the office where I see my mentee wrestling with another member of staff, I approach him thinking that by me talking with him and the relationship that we have built that he would calm down and try and talk things through with me, no such luck! He continues to wig out, so I have to restrain him, now when I say restrain, not the way that i would normally restrain somebody in a bar, but restrain in a way that I am not harming the student, or that he is no way harming himself. After about five minutes off trying to get him to calm down, i have to drag him into an empty class room and wrestle him to the ground, this kid is completely losing it, I finally have to put him on the ground and basicall lean on him until the police and an ambulance arrive. This kid was so wound up he struggled for 15 minutes straight, then all of a sudden passed out from exhaustion, I mean he just conked out, scared the shit out of me too, I thought I had seriously hurt him, but his pule was still strong once he passed out. Eventually the police arrive, of course the kid is passed out by then. Once he came too, my mentee could not remember anything that happened, now I am mired in paperwork relating to this incident trying to document everything just in case something might arise out of the situation, luckily I have a bunch of witnessess, not that I expect anything, but it has been my experience to always cover your ass, especially with Minneapolis Public Schools.
I will try to blog with some more frequency, but honestly I am thinking about abandoning the whole blog thing, I just dont have the time rt now.

Pet Blogging Mondays

Ok I tried to take the same picture of Nanook with the chewed hat, only this time I ran him for three miles, and wrestled with him for another 15 minutes, just so that I could tucker him out in order for me to take the damn picture. So far Nanook has cost me two wallets $30, two xbox live headsets $40, two pairs of shoes 150$, countless hangers, one baseball cap 10$, a cell phone 100$, a loaf of bread $2, a chipotle burrito $5, box of cereal $4, two dvd cases $40. Happiness he brings me Priceless

I miss my meat

Ok day 1 without red meat is over, I am sure that this will get easier as time grows by, but rt now I am fighting a monkey on my back, and the weekend is coming up also (the time I pig out the most) I have cancelled my Korean BBQ plans, and will instead will be dining at the always ever tasty Olive Garden, plenty of tasty pasta dishes, which dont involve red meat. I also will be having my second three day weekend in a row, gotta love teacher schedules.

Lent and my sacrifice Day 1

Ok it is 7:30 and I am already starting to go through withdrawal symptoms, at the suggestion of my partner in crime, Nicee, I have decided to forego red meat for the period of Lent, I think this is a big enough sacrifice, and still attainable unlike some other habits which I would have no chance of giving up (I swear my hairy palms are a birth defect). I am already feeling the effects of no steak bagel or roast beef bagel for breakfast. I could always eat cereal, but damnit where is the satisfaction in that. To me cereal has always been the food which you eat late at night, whilst watching TV, not something which gives you great oral satisfaction after fasting the night away. OK 39 more days to go, and I was supposed to do a Korean BBQ tomorrow night.

We will be united, be patient my secret love.

Lent and my dilemma

Ok Lent is here and I have no idea what I should give up for lent, now the norm would be to give up meat for forty days and forty nights, now knowing what my diet is like, that is not going to happen. I could give up sex, but I'm not currently seeing anybody, so the chances of me having sex are kind of slim, so what the hell am I giving up(can I use hell and lent in the same sentence?) I could always try to give up masturbation (yeah I almost kept a straight face when I wrote that). I could give up alcohol, but I barely drink as it is. I could try to give up celibacy, but again thats something that I want to give up. Decisions, decisions. Ok blog family, I want suggestions as to how I can repent during this time of soul searching and reflection.

Where the hell have you been

Ok an explanation as to where I have been for the last week, last Monday, I went to Taekwando, and I whooped some major ass that week, 2nd degree, 3rd degree, it did not matter I was in the zone, they came and they got whooped. But my best fight came against the instructor, a 5th degree black belt who I have never been even to score on in 5 years of training with him. Now Jeff is a phenomenal fighter, tall, long limbed, strong and quick, I mean we are talking cobra like quickness. I don’t match up well against him because of my height, anytime I try to attack him he pretty much either pops me up the side the head with one of his gorilla length arms, or blasts me in the stomach with one of his mule kicks. Jeff had seen my success against his other instructors, and was already to put me in my place, like he has done so many times before. We bow to each other and get ready to fight, we are toying around with each other feeling each other out, every time he attacks I side step and go into a defensive mode, I’m not attacking him because I am not ready to eat one his mule like kicks. Ten out of know where he just rushes me throwing a whole bunch of punches bruce Lee style, I retreat but as I am running away I instinctively jumped in the air and threw a spinning hook kick just trying to keep him of me, much to my surpise I connected with Jeff square in his jaw, I mean a good hard solid kick. After realizing that I had finally hit the one person I have never been able to hit in five years, I ran out of the dojo whooping it up. Once I returned the ring Jeff decided to make me pay, within in 10 seconds he had sent a kick my way which allowed me the brief feeling of flying thru air. After regaining my stance snd my breath, and making sure I hadn’t cracked any ribs, I decided fuck this stand up shit, I am taking this fight to the ground, luckily this is one area in which I have a little bit more expertise than Jeff, not a lot, but enough for me to hold my own and not sustain anymore damage to my already hurting body. So we goto the ground and pretty much just roll around for the next few minutes until we are both spent.
Later that night, I go to target, upon exiting my car, I almost collapse, I mean I cant fucking move my hip, I am literally keeled over the car next to me trying to regain my balance, and the worst thing about it is people are walking past me without asking if I need some assistance, this is why I hate shopping in the nice areas. These stuck up middle class republican fucks just looked at me and kept on walking, I am bent over a car in agony trying to get to my feet, and not one person comes to my assistance. This is he same fucking Target where a customer called the cops on me for parking in a handicapped zone, even though the person who I was driving around had a handicapped permit, they still called the cops, but now I am digressing into a totally different post. Anyways I can now walk again, turns out my lack of mobility was due to a really bad groin pull.