THE REBIRTH OF COOL

Women Pt 3

2006-07-11T15:46:00.000-05:00

swear I must of done something bad in prior life, because I know I have not done anything bad in this life, and yet I am cursed with the strangest to bad luck when dealing with women and relationships. The following incidents have all happened in the past 3 weeks.
Incident 1. I am at a bar when a cute waitress, comes up to me and asks do I recognize her, I take a moment run her through the check list, did we have sex? nodid we have a bad date? nofriend of my ex? nodid I kick her out of a club from my bouncing days? no Then it comes to me the young lady is one of my former students, all grown up and working in a bar. When I acknoledged that i remembered her, she then started to hit on me, and I am not talking just some waitress type flirting in order to get a bigger tip, I am talking about taking the female genitalia, rolling it into a little ball, then throwing it at me. All I can say is UNCOMFORTABLE. And to make matters worse all of my guy friends who are sitting at the table with me are encouraging me to take her up on her advances.Conclusion, yes she is 22, yes she was my student, yes I would feel like that freaky teacher who had a baby by a 13 year old boy, Mary Letournaeu, or whatever the hell her name is. Result I have made another new friend who will Lust over me
Incident 2 I met a girl who seem pretty cool, but according to my friends I am not this girls type. I don't know what her type is, but damn I'm funny, smart, reasonably attractive, great in bed(self proclaimed title), employed, home owner, not a player. What more could a girl ask for? Conclusion: We shall see what happens, Result: I have made another friend who I will lust after
Incident 3 I am out with my puppy nanook(if you don't know who he is, then you are no friend of mine, he is out doing his thing getting all the female attention, I am Robin to his Batman, nobody is even noticing me, except for one drunk girl, now because she is drunk I am not really paying much attention to her, but as the evening grows I am starting to become more interested in what drunk girl has to say, she studys art, has a season pass to the Walker, plays chess, loves Scrabble, plays pool, is cute, and seems genuinely interested in me. Then my luck kicks in, when asked about employment, apparently she has been fired from a bunch of places, yes the warning flags are at half mast, then she tells me there is a warrant out for her arrest in her home town, now the flags are at full mast.Conclusion: We exchange numbers with me hoping she will be too drunk to remember me the next day.Result: I have nade another friend who I can get drunk with if anything happens blame it on the alcohol, because this girl is not bring home to mom material

The end of an era

2006-06-14T01:12:00.000-05:00

So today was the last day of school for me, normally a time filled with joy knowing that I will not have any school resposibilites for the next 2.5 months. Now dont get me wrong, I love my job, I really do like this school which I am teaching at rt now, but over the last year i have actively trying to change careers. Today as I am driving back to school from a field trip I helped out on, I realised that today could quite possibly be the last day that I ever teach. It finally dawned on me that the job which I have wanted to do since I was a child, and which I went to college for, and a job which I did well could well be coming to an end. A strange occurence also happened tonight, I am sitting at the Red Dragon enjoying a non alcoholic beverage, and chatting with the biggest myspace whore on my friend list, when a student who I taught my first year of teaching walks in and sits down for a drink. Weird on the day when I am contemplating ending my career, a student from the beginning appears. Is this a sign?

Surgery

2006-06-02T00:59:00.000-05:00

Ok so I had my surgery to repair my knee, I have been rehabing the shit out of it, I have been in constant communication with the sherrifs dept, and thet seem somewhat eager for me to join their department, i am kind of excited for their department except that I have to do jail time, not my first choice of jobs, but the promotional opportunities are huge. Hopefully I will get that job.

Explanation

2006-06-01T19:46:00.000-05:00

I guess I should offer an explanation for my last post, and also as to the whereabouts of where I have been for the last 2 weeks, at least I think that is how long it has been since my last post. Firstly as to why I was so down recently, a few weeks ago, I had received notice that I had passed the Torrance Police Department entrance exam, yay for me because I was not htat confident on my results, they then wanted me to fly back out to Torrance and participate in the first oral examinationm nervously I agreed, and flew out and had my interview, again I was not that confident on theresults of the interview, it was a tough interview, and I was very nervous, definitely not my normal smooth, suave, james bond self. I was told I would I would receive the results in a few days, and if succesful I would have to fly out again the next week for the physical. Now these impromptu trips are niot getting any cheaper, and on top of that I have to take time of work, and lastly I hate flying. Well a few days pass and I receive the results for my oral and written tests, turns out I scored an 89.4 % not to shabby if I do say so, but it would have been nicer if I had scored that 90% and recieved an A, or as Torrance PD calls it a Band 1. So I book my flight, arrange for more time off from work and toddle on back to SoCal. On the plane I looked at my scores again, and saw that something did not add up correctly, so I did the math of my combined scores, and it turns out that I am Band 1, Go Future it's your birthday!
Next day I am ready to take the physical, first test we have is to scale a wall and sprint to a finish line, I try to be superman and hurdle the wall, what happens as soon as I land I feel my left knee go on me, FUCK, my knee hurts but I am so hopped up on caffeine and adrenaline that I am able to continue with the tests. To cut a long story short, I ended up getting the hignest score in the physical out of all the applicants, I am ecstatic but i know that my knee is messed up.
Next day I go for my pre background interview, everything seems to be going fine, I have done a couple of these so I know the routine, be as honest as possibe, I admit to all of my past transgression, all ONE of them in the last ten years, then the personnel sargent says I am not Torrance material. Not Torrance material, what the fuck does that mean, i scored the highest in the physical with a fucked up knee, and I think I was the only applicant to score a band 1 out of all the applicants who qualified for the physical. i am pretty dissapointed after spending all that money to fly out, and take the time of the work. And on top of that i need a knee surgery.
Next dissapointment to hit me,I meet a girl at a club, we hit it off, she seems cool, she tells me to hit her up from her myspace page, I check her myspace page, and I find out she has a boyfriend and 2 kids. Why is she flriting with me?????? Why am I prone to all of this dissapointment?

Why

2006-05-17T23:05:00.000-05:00

WHY
That’s it! I am now officially throwing in the towel, I don’t understand why Life throws me a curveball at every junction in my life, I have tried to live a good existence, I have tried to be kind to those who I have met, and yet every time that something good is about to happen to me life throws some type of obstacle that holds me back. I am ready to just say fuck it, what is the point, I try and it does no fucking good. I cannot take the curveballs no more.

Plagued by idiots

2006-05-11T09:43:00.000-05:00

Last night I am at my favorite watering hole enjoying a diet coke, sitting with Nanook, I am just chilling waiting for my appetizer, Nanook is flirting with every female in the bar, when eventually one of Nanooks fans starts to pay me some attention. (I think I must be the only wing man to a dog). Now this girl was hawt, I mean we are talking good spank material hawt. She sits down and starts to talk to me, and is genuinely showing interest in me, I meant to the point where she is asking me for some sugar, and I am not talking about the granulated kind. During conversation I told her I was heading out to California, her response " I don't lke the East Coast" Right there and then I think you actually heard my labido deflating. Well as you all know, my next thought was

NEXT
I'm not asking for much here, some what attractive, a modicum of intelligence, and hopefully the labido of a college freshman away from home for the first time.

The hired Muscle

2006-05-11T09:25:00.000-05:00

Two days ago, I received a requst from a friend If I could help him move one of his friends furniture, I figured he needed an extra pair of hands to make the workload easier, so I agreed, reluctantly I have to admit, because I hate moving, but my friend has done many favours for me in the past, so I acquised like the nice guy that I am.
When my buddy picked me up, the first thing that came out of his mouth was" this is a clandestine operation" confused I asked how is moving a clandestine operation? Turns out what we were doing was waiting for his friend's husband to leave to goto work, and we were going to move all of her stuff into a uhaul, so that she could leave her husband. It turns out I was asked to help move not because that I could help with the work load, but more for my talents in fighting. I will admit this did not sit well with me for a couple of reasons
1. I am not a hired gun/goon, whatever you want to call it.
2. this is a situation I know nothing about, and don't want to be involved in.
3. I don't want to get hurt, shot, or whatever over some bullshit, as i have stated before I am allergic to dying., but
Luckily the guy never showed up, and we was able to load all of her stuff onto the uhaul without any problems.
I don't know what marital problems they had, but I hope I never come home to an empty house like whay this guy experienced.

what language do you speak

2006-05-09T00:12:00.000-05:00

Interesting story here, well I think it's interesting! This week a buddy of mine tried to set me up on a blind date, ok I figure, no harm in meeting new people. The young lady in question calls me on Thursday afternoon, everything seems fine she seems nice, asks a lot of questions, then the almighty faux pas come into play. Now for those of you that know me, have heard my accent, yes I have a british accent. When the female in question asks what kind of accent do you have? you sound like you are from Texas. WTF since when did a Texas drawl sound like an English accent? Now if you know me, you know that I have a pretty acerbic wit, and a pretty sarcastic tongue. I held my tongue on that last comment. Next ridiculous question to come my way was you lived in England? What language do they speak there? Ok i am trying to be nice and not insult a person the first day I am talking to them, but damn it is taking every ounce of self restraint to not let the sarcastic monster out. All I can say is
NEXT

Ding Dong the idiot is back

2006-04-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

Aaaarrrggghhhh, my roomate got back together were her moron boyfriend, now I have to put up with his dumb mug back at my house at the weekends. I was so pissed of when she texted me the news. His ass was back at my house this week, I couldn't even stomach being around them, I just went to bed early so I wouldn't have to see him. This guy is such a putz, he hasn't even bought her flowers for taking him back. Interesting note, when he asked roomie what my reaction was to her taking him back, roomie told him that I thought he was a moron, funny stuff, he almost wants my approval in a Cosby kind of way. Aaaah well we will see how long she will put up with his shit this time around. I am out to SoCal on thursday again! for more police stuff, I am anticipating my move sometime in the next 3 months. I hope everybody has a good week.

Internet Girl

2006-04-28T16:40:00.000-05:00

Well unfortunately me and internet girl failed to make a love connection. We did have a very romantic date, we spent many hours conversing over the phone and playing online games, but in the end,I guess there was something about me she was not attracted to. Am i mad? no not really. Am I sad? yes very much so. There are very few people that I make connections with, and when i do, there always seem to be some type of obstacle which prevents me from reaching true happiness. Am I dissapointed? Hell yeah, fter hearing about her ex who was abusive, and all the other guys she has dated, I would consider myself a prince among men. But unfortunately the good guy finishes last again. Again it will be back to the drawing board, hoping for true love, but more than likely experiencing dissapointment.

Women and their penchant for assholes

2006-04-28T16:22:00.001-05:00

Ok I am here today to vent to all the women out there who sya they want a "nice, good" guy, but instead date morons/assholes who they know are no good for them. Now what would spur such a venemous post from me?
My new roomate, a friend who I have known for a few years, has been dating this dork. Now I may not be the coolest cat on the block, but I do know an idiot when I meet him. The first time I met this moron it was instant dislike, I do not know why I disliked this idiot, but I did. I would always hear roomie complain about his lack of compromise, and other misgivings. I would not say anything because he was her boyfriend, and I did not want to seem like a hater. But last week when he dumped her, I was happy and sad for roomie. I am sorry that she got dumped, but happy because the moron was gone, and now she could concentrate on finding somebody more deserving off her. Unfortunately the break up only lasted a week, and now the moron is back in the picture. I wonder why do we these things to ourselves? myself included. We/I know that this person is not right for us, but yet we/I continue to put up with their shit. I am all for compromise in a relationship, but there are just some things that you cannot ignore. Do we/I really want to put the effort in with somebody who we/I are not compatible with? Do we/I want to put up with people who do not show emotion? Do we/ I want to have conversations with somebody that we/I have nothing in common with. The last year and a half, I have been searching for my soulmate, I have met many people, and for some reason or another, things have not worked out, either because of something I have done, or something that the other person has done.( mostly my fault, I will admit, not everybody understands my quirks and eccentricities). But back to my original point, there is an old african saying if you are afraid of being alone you will end up with shit. Kind of crude, but a truer word was never spoken.

Alcohol and Me

2006-04-23T20:19:00.001-05:00

Alcohol and me do not mix
So this weekend i went out fot the first time in months, and in going out I remembered some things about myself.
1. I have a low tolerance for alcohol
2. I am an asshole when I drink, examples to come later
3. I am an even more of an incredible horn ball when I drink, if that is possible.4. I forget about eating healthy when I drink.

Friday night I went out with a guy I met at a fight party last week, he turned out to be a pretty cool guy, and for somebody like myself who does not make friends easily, it was refreshing to hang out with somebody and not get annoyed at them within 10 minutes. That night we started drinking at the red dragon, they have a drink there called a wanderers punch which could run my lawn mower. After one of these drinks I willingly relenquished the keys to my car, I was already catching a major buzz. After the red dragon we headed to Williams for their 7 dollar steaks and more alcohol. Now I am feeling quite tipsy. From there we went to Tango Sushi to meet up with my roomate and her crazy friends, turns out one of her friends recognized me from somewhere, when I told her I used to bounce, I am greeted with a torrade of insults, apparently I was an asshole to her at some stage, I couldn't remember her but hey I have been an asshole to a lot of people in my time.(sidenote, I am not really an asshole, just misunderstood a lot of the time). From tango Sushi onto The Drink for EVEN MORE ALCOHOL, here the asshole in me comes out.
Asshole example 1. Walked past a girl and stole a french fry from her plate.
Asshole example 2. Insulted a bartender when he was flipping bottles ala cocktail. I asked him does the drink come any time soon.
Asshole example 3. Almost started fight in bathroom because some asshole tried to cut in line, yes he deserved a whooping, but violence does not solve anything, I could have quite easily done a jedi mind trick on him, but oh no, I had drunk muscles.
Note to self stay away from alcohol in the future
Saturday night I went out with roomie and new buddy, but I stayed away from the alcohol this time, which was a good thing, only thing is when sober, i find myself to be more of a shrinking violet when everybody else is getting crazy. Roomie and her crazy friends decided to flash their breasts every chance they got, ooh I love boobies! Did see one cute girl, and was very tempted to talk to her, but she was on a date, and I figured it would be kind of rude if I approached her, but I did see her sneaking glances at me. But I had to respect the rules of the game, now if alcohol had been involved, i would have definitely gone and talked to her. Hopeully my good actions will be rewarded in the future. Oh yeah and I found out what I did to that girl, it turns out I confiscated her fake ID at some stage, so Iwasn't really an asshole, jst a person who did my job rt

Heading back out to SOCAL

2006-04-21T00:10:00.000-05:00

Ok the good news, I passed the Torrance PD test, the bad news, I have to get back on a fucking plane, and fly out there to have my interview, and if successful with that, I am back out there again 1 week later for my physical.
So I had the date with internet girl on Tuesday last week, and It was a great date, started off kind of rough because I wanted to take her rock climbing, but we couldn't find a wall, and the one which we did find had lessons going on that day. So we went bowling, and had a great time, I then took her to a little italion spot for dinner, where I got the hostess to open the section in the back exclusively for us, it was trez romantic. After dinner we went to the dog park and hung out there with Nanook, another romantic gesture, we had the whole park to ourselves, it was a full moon, and she kissed me! Totally making my night, I then took her to the lake, so that we could do some "stargazing". I totally felt like a teenager all over again, the thrills of being by the lake in a state of semi undress, hoping that the park police dont come by. All in all a great date, with great company, I am hoping for another one, but knowing my luck with women, we shall see.

Back in the Mini Apple

2006-04-15T11:33:00.000-05:00

Ok finally back, and I am surrounded by MY modern comforts, Internet access, cable TV, Xbox360, and last but not least my puppy. This last trip to SoCal was probably my worst one ever. It starts off with another airline story from hell. On this last trip I had some more law enforcement tests to take, and I was planning on going to the mountains for a few days of snowboarding. With this plan in hand I decided to bring my snowboard with me. So you now have the setting for my upcoming trip. Thursday night I leave Minneapolis and make my way to the City of Angels, here lies my first problem, I arrive in LA, my suitcase arrives in LA minus a foot, but my snowboard is nowhere to be found. Ok I can deal with this luggage gets misplaced all the time, especially mine, it will be on the next flight and they will ship it to me, I am still calm.
Friday, I meet with my background investigator, and discuss a few skeletons in my closet, still no snowboard, I am getting a little concerned, I call the airline, and they say it should be on the next flight, mutha fuckin liars.
Saturday, I take another polygraph, pass this one without any hitches, but I still disbelive the validity of these tests. Ok i was supposed to leave for the mountains after my test, but no snowboard. So i wait one more day.
Sunday I decide thats it I'm going i can rent some shitty equipment when i get there, i drive to Santa Monica to pick up my snowboarding buddies, just as i arrive at the door,I receive a phone call, my asshole friends are baling on me at the last moment, after I have just driven up from huntington beach to pick up their punk asses. I am so pissed off I drive back down to HB, and hang out with my friend's daughter. It's amazing how kids can make you feel better about yourself.
Monday, I still have not heard about my snowboard, I call the airlines AGAIN. I am now livid, how fucking hard is it to find a six foot fucking bag. I am beside myself with rage, I tell the manager that I need my snowboard, i am going boarding tomorrow.
Tuesday, I arise nice and early, pack a bag and take off for the mountains. Once there I find a rental store and rent some equipment, my first run of the day, and I see that the equipment that was rented to me was absolute horseshit, the board had no edges, and the bindings were not secure, I spent my first run on my ass the whole way down. I check out the rental store at the mountain, and they have high end rental gear for rent, I rent their equipment, and am able to have a better time boarding, except for the annoying drizzzle, which kept on threatening to turn into rain. I'm all ready to stay the night and board again tomorrow, except the forecast is rain for tomorrow. FUUUUCCCKKK, i head back to HB to chill for the rest of the week.
Tuesday evening, I recieve a phone call from the OC sherrif dept. they want me to test on Wednesday for their department, cool, I am like OC better than LA anyways, but that is a vent for another day. I also got another phonecall, which turned out to be the highlight of my week.
I am a member of an online dating site, and I recieve a phonecall from one of the girls I am interested in, I have to say things were really good with this young lady, we connected on so many issues, our conversations were funny, we talked for 5 hours that night!
Wednesday, I take the OC test, and aced that, I meet with my OC background investigator, tell him about my past indiscretions, I never thought that this stuff would ever come up to haunt me. After all my testing I return to HB. Later on that day I recieve a call from the sheriffs dept, I am sorry but due to past drug usage, I must wait a year before applying, ah well cest la vie. I guess this is the price I must pay for stupid peer pressure incidents. I chat with online girl again for 2 hours. Oh yeah my snowboard finally showed up, after my trip ended.
Thursday, I have the Torrance PD police test. Wow, this was the toughest police test I have taken so far. hopefully i did well on this test,but we will find out soon enough. I did not do anything for the rest of the time, except chat with online girl the whole time.
Sunday, I am finally getting ready to come back home, at the airport I run into an associate who I used to bounce with, nice guy, but just a little strange, and he is a close talker, freaky!
Monday A.M I arrive in Minneapolis, and goto pick up my snowboard from the office, aarrrgghhh they ruined my snowboard bag, ruined my suitcase, and lost my luggage. The only good thing to come of this trip was a phonecall from a girl who lives in Minneapolis.
What a god awful trip.

Socal again

2006-04-04T22:46:00.000-05:00

I am in SoCal right now, cant really blog, will update you all when I return to the Mini Apple

Surreal

2006-03-29T10:05:00.000-06:00

What posesses a parent to want to have a converstion with me , when I am in the bathroom, and I'm not talking two guys discussing football at a urinal whilst trying to see who has the bigger dick, no I am talking about a parent standing on the other side of a door trying to have a conversation with me about her son. I mean really people, can it not wait three minutes, eight if I decide to release the poisons,if ya know what i mean. My life is becoming a David Lynch special.

Jaded

2006-03-28T10:50:00.000-06:00

You know you have become jaded from teaching, when a student gets expelled for bringing a gun to school, and you don't think anything of it. Sigh hopefully my career change is not far away.

I really hate Minneapolis

2006-03-26T23:23:00.000-06:00

Ok so another boring weekend for me, did not do anything at all, and the people who i did ask to do something with either blew me off, or had other plans. Either way, I hate this fuckin place. Luckily I will be in SoCal for 8 days doing more testing, and hopefully getting to do some boarding. I did spend a shit load of money this weekend, on more techno geek gadget bullshit, that and taking Nanook on some major walks this weekend are the only highlights of my weekend. It's a real shame when a person actually looks forward to work because they don't enjoy the lack of social interaction that the weekend brings, not that interacting with a bunch of middle school kids is better, but at least it is some sort of interaction.

You know it's getting warmer

2006-03-22T01:32:00.000-06:00

Signs that it is getting warmer in Minneapolis

White people start to wear shorts and t-shirts outside even though it is still only 35 degrees outside.
Crime goes up.
The local prostitutes are back out on the streets.
All the cars have the same shitty dirty melted snow paint job
We actually have sunny days

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-03-20T23:44:00.000-06:00

No pet blogging mondays this week, no time to take pics of America's Next Top Model, even though he just got back from a 100 dollar grooming session, and is looking gooooood in the hood.

2 weeks in one post

2006-03-18T20:41:00.000-06:00

Ok folks I am a back, I did not give any notice, but for the last week I was back out in southern California for more law enforcement tests. My trip to LA sucked ass, i flew by a different airline than what I normally travel, and in doing so went to a different terminal, this time around I did get the "random security check" next time this happens I am going to state "but i am white, this is just a tan" Once on the plane I was seated next to a complete tool, Sun Country has very narrow seats, and there was no way me and this other guy who incidently was a pretty big guy be able to sit in the same row, when I informed him that I going to find another seat because we are too big to be sitting in the sme row, he responded yeah but the chicks dig that. My God what a moron, who says these things to a complete stranger, I dont know why you are, but
My tests went 50/50 with me doing well on one, and shitty on the other, I also got to do a ride along with Torrance PD, that was pretty cool, I got to ride along with their CSI unit, did not get to investigate any murders, but did get to see them investigate a burglary, and watch them do the whole dusting for finger prints. I also got to chase after some skin heads, and watch them get arrested. All cool stuff except I didnt have a vest on and the office drew his gun, and I am allergic to being shot.
A down point of my trip to So Cal, I took my friend's 8 year old daughter, to see the movie eight below. Words can not describe how angry I am at Disney, this movie which in the trailers was advertised a type of cutesy movie for kids, was one of the saddest movies Ihave ever seen, and this was only compounded by my friend's daughter bawling her eyes out in the movie, I had to leave the movie early for fear of emotionally scarring a little girl. I have one thing to say Disney, FUCK YOU.
Once back in Minneapolis, i walked into a huge shit storm, the semester changed so I have got all new classes, now I have to take the time to break a whole new slew of kids to my way of doing things. On top of that grades are due, and I was not made aware what date they were due. So I have spent the last couple of days figuring out grades, and inputting them into our archaic computer system.
Now here is the big story of the week about 10 minutes into my class the assistant principal comes into my class and tells me the principal needs my help with one of the kids who I do volunteer work with, now a quick synopsis on this young man, his father just recently passed away, and I have been doing some mentoring with him, and helping him adjust to his loss. But back to my story, I rush to the office where I see my mentee wrestling with another member of staff, I approach him thinking that by me talking with him and the relationship that we have built that he would calm down and try and talk things through with me, no such luck! He continues to wig out, so I have to restrain him, now when I say restrain, not the way that i would normally restrain somebody in a bar, but restrain in a way that I am not harming the student, or that he is no way harming himself. After about five minutes off trying to get him to calm down, i have to drag him into an empty class room and wrestle him to the ground, this kid is completely losing it, I finally have to put him on the ground and basicall lean on him until the police and an ambulance arrive. This kid was so wound up he struggled for 15 minutes straight, then all of a sudden passed out from exhaustion, I mean he just conked out, scared the shit out of me too, I thought I had seriously hurt him, but his pule was still strong once he passed out. Eventually the police arrive, of course the kid is passed out by then. Once he came too, my mentee could not remember anything that happened, now I am mired in paperwork relating to this incident trying to document everything just in case something might arise out of the situation, luckily I have a bunch of witnessess, not that I expect anything, but it has been my experience to always cover your ass, especially with Minneapolis Public Schools.
I will try to blog with some more frequency, but honestly I am thinking about abandoning the whole blog thing, I just dont have the time rt now.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-03-06T23:00:00.000-06:00

Ok I tried to take the same picture of Nanook with the chewed hat, only this time I ran him for three miles, and wrestled with him for another 15 minutes, just so that I could tucker him out in order for me to take the damn picture. So far Nanook has cost me two wallets $30, two xbox live headsets $40, two pairs of shoes 150$, countless hangers, one baseball cap 10$, a cell phone 100$, a loaf of bread $2, a chipotle burrito $5, box of cereal $4, two dvd cases $40. Happiness he brings me Priceless

I miss my meat

2006-03-03T00:52:00.000-06:00

Ok day 1 without red meat is over, I am sure that this will get easier as time grows by, but rt now I am fighting a monkey on my back, and the weekend is coming up also (the time I pig out the most) I have cancelled my Korean BBQ plans, and will instead will be dining at the always ever tasty Olive Garden, plenty of tasty pasta dishes, which dont involve red meat. I also will be having my second three day weekend in a row, gotta love teacher schedules.

Lent and my sacrifice Day 1

2006-03-02T07:33:00.000-06:00

Ok it is 7:30 and I am already starting to go through withdrawal symptoms, at the suggestion of my partner in crime, Nicee, I have decided to forego red meat for the period of Lent, I think this is a big enough sacrifice, and still attainable unlike some other habits which I would have no chance of giving up (I swear my hairy palms are a birth defect). I am already feeling the effects of no steak bagel or roast beef bagel for breakfast. I could always eat cereal, but damnit where is the satisfaction in that. To me cereal has always been the food which you eat late at night, whilst watching TV, not something which gives you great oral satisfaction after fasting the night away. OK 39 more days to go, and I was supposed to do a Korean BBQ tomorrow night.

We will be united, be patient my secret love.

Lent and my dilemma

2006-03-01T22:08:00.000-06:00

Ok Lent is here and I have no idea what I should give up for lent, now the norm would be to give up meat for forty days and forty nights, now knowing what my diet is like, that is not going to happen. I could give up sex, but I'm not currently seeing anybody, so the chances of me having sex are kind of slim, so what the hell am I giving up(can I use hell and lent in the same sentence?) I could always try to give up masturbation (yeah I almost kept a straight face when I wrote that). I could give up alcohol, but I barely drink as it is. I could try to give up celibacy, but again thats something that I want to give up. Decisions, decisions. Ok blog family, I want suggestions as to how I can repent during this time of soul searching and reflection.

Where the hell have you been

2006-03-01T22:04:00.000-06:00

Ok an explanation as to where I have been for the last week, last Monday, I went to Taekwando, and I whooped some major ass that week, 2nd degree, 3rd degree, it did not matter I was in the zone, they came and they got whooped. But my best fight came against the instructor, a 5th degree black belt who I have never been even to score on in 5 years of training with him. Now Jeff is a phenomenal fighter, tall, long limbed, strong and quick, I mean we are talking cobra like quickness. I don’t match up well against him because of my height, anytime I try to attack him he pretty much either pops me up the side the head with one of his gorilla length arms, or blasts me in the stomach with one of his mule kicks. Jeff had seen my success against his other instructors, and was already to put me in my place, like he has done so many times before. We bow to each other and get ready to fight, we are toying around with each other feeling each other out, every time he attacks I side step and go into a defensive mode, I’m not attacking him because I am not ready to eat one his mule like kicks. Ten out of know where he just rushes me throwing a whole bunch of punches bruce Lee style, I retreat but as I am running away I instinctively jumped in the air and threw a spinning hook kick just trying to keep him of me, much to my surpise I connected with Jeff square in his jaw, I mean a good hard solid kick. After realizing that I had finally hit the one person I have never been able to hit in five years, I ran out of the dojo whooping it up. Once I returned the ring Jeff decided to make me pay, within in 10 seconds he had sent a kick my way which allowed me the brief feeling of flying thru air. After regaining my stance snd my breath, and making sure I hadn’t cracked any ribs, I decided fuck this stand up shit, I am taking this fight to the ground, luckily this is one area in which I have a little bit more expertise than Jeff, not a lot, but enough for me to hold my own and not sustain anymore damage to my already hurting body. So we goto the ground and pretty much just roll around for the next few minutes until we are both spent.
Later that night, I go to target, upon exiting my car, I almost collapse, I mean I cant fucking move my hip, I am literally keeled over the car next to me trying to regain my balance, and the worst thing about it is people are walking past me without asking if I need some assistance, this is why I hate shopping in the nice areas. These stuck up middle class republican fucks just looked at me and kept on walking, I am bent over a car in agony trying to get to my feet, and not one person comes to my assistance. This is he same fucking Target where a customer called the cops on me for parking in a handicapped zone, even though the person who I was driving around had a handicapped permit, they still called the cops, but now I am digressing into a totally different post. Anyways I can now walk again, turns out my lack of mobility was due to a really bad groin pull.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-02-28T23:30:00.000-06:00

Aaaarrrgh second time I am typing this post. This week will be a twofer for PBM, due to my lack of participation in my own creation last week. This weeks picture is also going to give me a fuckin conniption. Now for all you people who think Nanook is the cutest thing since Rudy from the Cosby Show, let me tell you their is a flip side to that coin, Nanook is mischeivous, I mean really Mischeivous, I'm talking mischievous like Mr. Mxyzptlk(now who gets that reference?) Now what prompted this latest escapade into the idea for PBM was Nanook chewed my favourite hat, so I thought it would make a good picture if I took a picture of Nanook wearing the chewed hat, now this sounded a whole lot easier than what it really is, after many failed attempts at trying to take this picture I chose to take a picture of what happens when Nanook does act like a complete ass.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-02-21T00:02:00.000-06:00

Pet blogging Mondays has been interrupted due to I am in a lot of muthafuckin pain. We will resume our normal schedule when I can see straight and not wince with every movement.

Welcome To America

2006-02-17T12:59:00.000-06:00

Welcome to America,
On Wednesday I was finally sworn in as an American Citizen, I am now finally allowed to vote, this is huge for me, I have never had the opportunity to vote in any of the countries which I have lived in. I now have a voice.
On another note I would like to welcome Nicee to my blog family, check out her blog this is a very funny young lady, and I am sure her humour will translate into her blog.
Has anybody been watching the Winter Olympics? Am I the only one to notice that almost every American athlete has some type of affliction be it recovering from a stomach bug, to their great uncle twice removed has just passed away. Enough of the damn excuses, if you are not well enough to compete, them let some one else take your spot, I am sick and tired about hearing what a great testament to the human spirit, or how amazingly talented, that person is. Knock it off NBC and just show the Olympics for what it is, a collection of the world’s best athletes coming together to showcase their skills, not a bunch of Americans with excuses for why they did not get a gold medal. The Olympics is a world event.

Valentines Day

2006-02-14T23:47:00.000-06:00

Now I know a lot of my fellow bloggers out there really dislike V-day, and I really can understand where they are coming from, yes I agree we should treat our loved ones special every day, yes I agree that it is a slap in the face to those of us who are single (yes I am one of them), yes it is a "holiday" perpetuated by hallmark. But in all honesty, it feels nice to receive a card, chocolate, special trinket, whatever floats your boat, on this day. Not to say that we cannot do the same thing on other days, but having a special day set aside for this is really not that bad of a thing. If i had somebody right now, I would shower that person with affection, and I would not feel guilty about it. But now that is out of the way on to my V-day. I received a couple of gifts from my students and I participated in a secret valentine at work. The amount of candy i received today would give a dentist a heart attack, I may develop diabetes if I keep on munching on all this crap. From my secret Valentine I received some Mexican peanuts, which tasted like ass ( go figure, white people, see link), and a pizza for lunch. I never thought that I could put on so much weight in one day because of a freakin holiday which wasn't Xmas or Thanksgiving. Hopefully next year I will have my own valentine.

Ammendment to last post.

2006-02-14T23:31:00.000-06:00

Ok after rereading my last post, I realise that it is quite vague in the information that I posted, after reading seahags hilarious comment, I have decided to give a little bit more information on my current situation. So this latest female is a cousin of somebody who I dated in the past, not somebody who I had an extensive relationship with but nonethe less somebody who I dated fro a short period of time. Now unfortunately we both know this and we both feel it would be too springerish if we were to hook up. But damn we have some of the greatest conversations, today we talked for over an hour on the phone, now that may not seem like much to somebody, and the other day for over 2 hours. It really is cool when you have somebody who you can relate to on a plethora of topics. Of course it would be better if she was to lay down and spread her legs and say come hit this. But as discussed previously, it just cant happen for fear of showing up on the springer show.

He gives with one hand, and takes with the other.

2006-02-13T20:17:00.000-06:00

I tell you somebody upstairs has it out for me! After my recent foray into romance with Ms. B, which turned into a bust. I have met another person, and I have to say this person is hella cool, I totally had a cerebral connection with this person. Only problem is nothing can ever happen between us for reasons that I cannot get into. AAARRRRGGGHHHH, why am I cursed with matters of the heart. But me and new person will still continue to be friends, despite the tension. So what is everybody elses thoughts on this latest predicament in the soap opera otherwise known as my life.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-02-13T20:00:00.000-06:00

Ok so I had a great idea for PBM, but I had to wait until the westminster dog show was actually playing, Nanook is one of the few dogs I know who will actually sit and watch TV, he especially loves dog shows, and will sit there all attentive, and watch any show which has dogs in it. So I thought it would make a great picture of Nanook watching TV. Unfortunately I did not catch him watching the Alaskan Malamute, but you get the idea from the pictures.

Perspective

2006-02-07T22:34:00.000-06:00

Ok I am not as crabby as i was yesterday, firstly I went back to taekwando training after a two and a half year hiatus, its amazing how good you feel after exercise, or more importantly hitting something. Sparring went well yesterday, none of these new people knew who I was or what my fighting ability was, so I had an advantage there, I fared pretty good, and even did a little bit of instructing to some of the lesser skilled fighters. After sparring I asked about the old fighting team? it turns out most of them have been picked up by major teams, including one guy who I used to whoop on is now on Team Paul Mitchell (Probably the best martial arts team out there, but funnily enough sponsored by a hair product company). By the time I got home i was in so much pain, I could not sleeplast night, lesson to self, ease back into activity, you are not in college anymore. Today at school was no better physically, i could barely move. Classes were going pretty good, until one of my problem students came to me crying about a death which happened in his family this weekend. Watching a little boy cry uncontrollably about death really puts a lot of things into perspective, and made my stupid little problems feel insignificant. At lunch I found relief in muscle relaxers. The rest of my day went extremely smooth after that. I also received a phonecall from the "last prospective" after we had agreed to(more her telling me) to slow things down and cease contact. First instinct is to call her back, but she wanted time apart, so I will just wait for her to call again.

2006 Already suck ass

2006-02-06T10:34:00.000-06:00

2006 has just started, and already it has sucked mode dick than 5 dollar hoer. So far in just one month, I have had my place burgaled, had a relationship start and end, my hopefull job still needs to do more research on me, and my brand new 2005 mustang got rear ended. What else could go wrong. The muthafucker who hit my car did not have any insurance, then tried to drive away, but couldnt because I was holding his steering wheel thru the window, and threatening him with grievous bodily damage if he tried moving his car again. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCK. I am pissed at the world right now, I had made the resolution to not get down this year, but damn all this shit happens in the space of 3 weeks. Even Mary fuckin Poppins couldn't stay cheerful with all this shit going on. I am taking my aggression out on somebody tonight at taekwondo. Tomorrows headlines, school teacher kills entire martial arts class.

I'm bored

2006-01-31T23:49:00.000-06:00

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Thomas
Birthday: June 21
Birthplace: London
Current Location: Minneapolis
Right Handed or Left Handed: Ambidextrous
Your Heritage: Mutt
The Shoes You Wore Today: Adidas sneakers
Your Weakness: Pizza, pretty women
Your Fears: Being alone
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Move to LA
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up: Damn another day at work, and why do I not go to bed earlier
Your Best Physical Feature: My right earlobe, shit I don't know
Your Bedtime: 2-3 a.m
Your Most Missed Memory: Happiness with my ex
Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke with lime
MacDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonalds fries with Burger King burgers
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Yuck
Do you Smoke: Only when I'm on fire
Do you Swear: Fuck yeah
Do you Sing: In the car
Do you Shower Daily: try to
Have you Been in Love: yes, and that shit hurts
Do you want to go to College: been there done that
Do you want to get Married: yes
Do you belive in yourself: Yes, no one else will
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope
Do you think you are Attractive: Sometimes
Are you a Health Freak: No
Do you get along with your Parents: Now I do
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes
Do you play an Instrument:Nope, unless you count my dick
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: Nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Nope
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nope
In the past month have you been Dumped: Yes
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: In Minnesota! Are you high
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nope
Ever been Drunk: Yes
Ever been called a Tease: Yes
Ever been Beaten up: Yup, as a youngster
Ever Shoplifted: Yup
How do you want to Die: I will be cryogenically frozen and placed next to Walt Disney
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Happy
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan, Korea, South Africa

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Brown
Favourite Hair Color: Brown
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: 5'3
Weight: Less than me
Best Clothing Style: Relaxed but trendy
Number of Drugs I have taken: Illegal or legal
Number of CDs I own: Don't know, I download music now
Number of Piercings: none now, but I was a piercing fool when I was younger
Number of Tattoos: 2
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 1

I tag everybody in my blog family

Back to the mundane

2006-01-29T18:19:00.000-06:00

Life has returned to normal, Ms. B has returned to Cailfornia, and with her she has taken my affections and my labido, no more ass for me for a while, unless I find somebody in Minneapolis, but that seems somewhat unlikely.

Meeting the fam

2006-01-24T20:03:00.000-06:00

Another interesting date with Ms. B, she leaves on Wednesday to go back home, so I am trying to spend as much time as poossible with her before she leaves, well not as much time, but I would at least like to spend a few hours with her. She asks me if I would like to go out with her and her sister. Obviously I agree, so she invites me to come over and meet some of her family. Now I am a little cautious about meeting her family so soon. Yeah I like her, but i'm not trying to rush things, I squeamishly agree to go over to her house and pick her up and meet the fam. I arrive at the house, ring the doorbell, nobody answers. Ok now I am standing outside in the cold like a Jehova's Witness. I call her cell phone, and finally she lets me in. Ms. B greets me with a kiss, now this may not seem important, but It was to me, because I am still wondering what exactly are this girls intentions. It seems she likes me, but only time will tell. She introduces me to her sister, who is also a hottie, her gay uncle, and her aunt. As soon as I sit down my ethnic background is put under fire, ok I can handle this, just be polite and roll with the punches. Next question comes from little sis "are you hung like a black man?" OK I am now on trial here, next half hour is spent discussing my sexuality, and Ms.b's previous boyfriends, UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!
Another one of MS. B family is joining us her hot cousin. This family has great genes. We ended up going to a club, which was ok for a Monday night. And getting something to eat, now thats when the shit hits the fan, I have been the comic relief for the whole evening, so I actually struck back with a little wittisicism of my own . Unfortunately my toungue has now pissed of MS. B. And I hzve gone from nice guy to asshole.
We have some late night munchies, and then I drop off the fam. I will admit to being upset about pissin off Ms. B, I don’t open up easily to people, and this has been the first person that I have liked in a long time.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-01-23T01:00:00.000-06:00

Me and Nanook the demon dog

2006-01-20T18:00:00.000-06:00

Hello Blog World, why are you so happy? I hear you say, well the reason why i am so happy is that I have been hanging out with new friend, we have gone on two cool dates this week, and I am just living in the moment right now. And just so that you can share in my happiness rt now, I am going to tell you about my dates.
First Date
We had decided that it would be fun to go snow tubing, so she comes over to my houses and we take off to the local ski hill, when we arrive at the ski hill, we discover that it was closed, great planning on my part. So instead of tubing we decide to go for hike with Nanook. When we arrive at the park, I let Ms B. hold Nanooks leash and walk him through the park. Then the funniest event of the evening happened, Nanook spotted another dog and tried to run and play with it, Ms B. tried to hold on to the leash as hard as she could, but Nanook probably outweighs her by about a good 20 or 30 pounds, he ends up running at the dog, Ms B. takes off flying, I mean she literally flew for about 4 feet, then does a face plant in the snow. I wanted to help her up, but I was more concerned for Nanook getting lost, so I am now running after Nanook, Luckily he did not go too far, and I was able to catch him. Now to go check on Ms. B, luckily she was a real good sport about her impromptu trip. We hiked for about 2 hours, took some pictures, and then returned back too my house.

Ms B. and Nanook

I then took her too my favourite resaurant, Benihanas, for dinner. She had never eaten there, and enjoyed the show the chefs put on , not to mention that the food was really good, I swear the shrimp sauce is the best thing i have ever tasted, I would put shrimp sauce on anything, Hmm, note to self experiment with shrimp sauce and sex. After dinner she asks me if I would like to meet some of her friends for drinks, ok it seems we are now maybe starting to be more that friends. At the bar I met her friends, I kind of knew some of her friends, but this night I got the chance to talk to them. On the way home, she told me her friends were really impressed with me, one of her friends even commented that i am not the arrogant asshole she thought I was. What the fuck , it's amazing how somebody can make an assumption about me without even talking to me, the next time I see this bitch I will show her arrogant asshole.

Date 2
So today we tried sno tubing again, this time success, the weather was decent, there was not a lot of people, all in all a fun time, afterwards we go and get some pho . The rest of the night went really well, we just stayed in and watched the Golden Globes. This is the first time I have ever sat thru an award show, I guess when you are cuddling with a pretty lady, time flies. I had such a cool time just chilling and cuddling, also this was the night I got to kiss her for the first time, oh yeah and the boyfriend, well I guess he is now becoming a thing of the past.

A great weekend

2006-01-17T00:28:00.000-06:00

Now this weekend was great not because I got laid, but all thr other little thing that I like about life. My TV was delivered saturday morning, and all I can say is wow, aestheticaly this TV is sexy, for the rest of the day I spent time trying to find a high definition cable box so that I could enjoy high def programming, once I hooked it up, WOW, the picture is amazing, I dont hink I cn go back to normal analog signals. Now another reason why this weekend was so good, PLAYOFF FOOTBALL, Wow there were some good games, but I ask you all you football fans out there? What is up with the officiating in the colts steelers game. Now I like Peyton as much as the next person, he has done some amazing things on the field, and I think his commercials are hilarious, but that officiating was so bad it was obvious that the league wanted the colts to win, but the steelers played an awesome game, and I think it is bullshit how many calls went the way of the colts. But the better team won that day, so non hard feelings. Another reason why this weekend was so good, I was able to replace my xbox 360 straight away. A NBA player who will remain nameless forgot to pick up his 360, sothe bestbuy manager who is a friend of mine sold me his one. Oh and I got laid what a great weekend.

It's official folks, the drought is over

2006-01-16T23:08:00.000-06:00

Yes folks, the drought is over, as of sunday night, I was able to break the sexual drought which has plagued me for many months. This will be the first post I have ever done of a sexual nature, because it has taken me this long to finally find somebody I was willing to exchnge bodily fluids with. So to the start of my day, it turns out that the girl who I sat next to on the airplane (see link) Called me up and wanted to do something, now I know she has a boyfriend, so I was not expecting anything more that dinner and a movie as friends. So we are talking about where we should go, and what to see, when in conversation, I mention my brand new TV, she replies we should just stay at my house and watch movies, and if we feel like it we can go out later to a bar or club. Ok as soon she said that, I started to think to myself, watch movies at my house! who are you trying to fool, I invented the movie line, ok well maybe I didn't invent it, but I sure used it a lot during my college years, but I digress. So on the day of airplane girl coming over I start to clean my house, when I remember, I don't have a dvd player, dem sumsabitches took my dvd player, so I race out to Bestbuy. Ok mission acomplished, I have the dvd player, now get home quickly and finish off cleaning my house. I'm almost at my house, then what happens a girl gets hit by a car right in front of me, aaarrrrgggghhhhh, shit not now, a brother is in a hurry, what do I do? stop and help out the victim or race home and clean my house, shit who am I kidding, I park my car grab my first aid kit, blankets and towells and run over and administer first aid until the EMT's arrive. Once the EMT's arrive I race home and finish cleaning the house. At 7:30 my friend/date arrives we go out and get a pizza then come back to my house and get ready to watch a movie, she informs me that she brought a movie, A Sexual Life, when I see the title I think to myself oh yeah it is on tonight, good thing I manscaped. We started to watch the movie, and what a dissapointment, the movie was kind of boring, so we abandoned that movie in favour of Snatch(one of my faves). A quarter of a way thr the movie my date/friend wants to go kick it for a little bit, so we get changed and head downtown and hit a couple of clubs, now unfortunately it's a Sunday night, and there are not too many clubs open on a Sunday in Minneapolis (otherwise know as boring town USA). First spot we hit up was a reggae club, it was kind of cool, but my take on reggae is after a few songs the shit just starts to get repetetive, and this is coming from somebody raised on the islands. So we goto another club, I used to bounce downtown at a couple of clubs, so pretty much I get the whole VIP treatment whenever I goto a club, kinda shady I know, but hey it was cool for the evening, not having to wait in any lines. get access to the vip areas, and have my drinks bought for me. After the club we decided to goto a strip club, and have a cocktail there, there at the club we start talking about sex, and her current situation with her boyfriend, well after a few drinks it comes out in conversation, that I have done amatuer porn, and that her boyfriend has given her permission to do whatever she wants, while he is away, which incidently is 3 years. So now I dont feel guity about being a homewrecker. We head back to my place to watch some more movies, when we get home, she is asking to see one of my amatuer movies, of course I declined, that would be disrepectful to my former partners, but I offered the consolation of watching the one porno dvd that I have accuired. I know what your thinking only 1 dvd!!! Yes folks I only have 1 dvd, if I need porn I just download it. So we start watching the movie, and thats when I decide to make my move, firstly I started toput my hand on her leg, no objections, so I gradually move my hand up her thigh, still no objections, so now I figure go for the goal, I totally reachup her dress, and I hit paydirt, not only no objections, but oh the sweet feeling of a wet pussy, thats it, thats all the encouragement I need. I'm now ripping her clothes and my clothes off at the same time, can you tell it's been a long time. Now I'm hoping please do not emabarass myself, I know it has been a long time, but take your time do not embarras yourself, luckily the copious amouts of alcohol that was consumed thru out the night provided just enough resilience to any forms of premature ejaculation. Now I don't know what it is, but I have the ability to pick out freaks of nature in the bedroom, ths girl was no objection, I am not gonna go into the sordid details, but I will say the wait was worth while.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-01-16T20:49:00.000-06:00

America's next top model

I am now a statisitic

2006-01-12T17:33:00.000-06:00

What a rollercoaster week so far, Monday was supposed to be my first day back at school and what happens I get sick! So I decided to take the next two days of work and try and recuperate. Now during my two days of recuperating, I think due to a fever induced momoent of weakness, I find myself at best buy giving my credit card to a tv salesman and purchasing my first big purchase of 2006, and hopefully my only one, a new 50 inch high def TV.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!!!!!?????? Do I regret buying the damn thing? A little bit. Will I return it? Not bloody likely.
Ok now the reason as to why I am a statistic. Some asshole muthufucker broke into my house, aarrrggghhh, I wish i would have been there, then there would have been another statisitc, one to add to the obituaries. Luckily not much was taken just various electical components, nothing sentimental was taken. Now I just have to wait for the insurance company to get their asses in gear.
My return to school was a good one, the kids appreciated me being back, well most of them, I had three members of staff, the principal, vice principal, and speech pathologist come talk to me about some of the students being scared of me. I tell you kids today are just soft, well at least the kids at my school, the funny thing is, I am not even being tough on the kids, I have my classroom expectations, and I expect them to be followed, it's not like I have a whip or a paddle for students who don't follow directions.
Last rant of the day, yes i am half black, and yes I am half white, but damnit if you are going to talk to me talk to me properly, a white associate of mine greets me today with "sup, whats crackin", I replied whats crackin? talk to me like a white person, dont look at me and assume that you are making me feel comfortable by talking like that, very rarely will you find me using "street slang" unless I get angry then the carribbean in me comes out, ok thats my rants and raves for the day. blog with you later

Pet Blogging Mondays

2006-01-09T02:07:00.000-06:00

After a 2 week hiatus, Pet Blogging Mondays returns. Here is a pic of Nanook with my neighbour

LA Stories pt3 county jail

2006-01-08T02:46:00.000-06:00

My highlight of my trip to LA was I had a meeting with the chief of the LA county sherriffs department. It turns out my roomate 's mom from college knows the chief, and passed my name on to him knowing that I am interested in law enforcement. My meeting with him went pretty good, and then he offered me the chance to take a tour of the county jail. I did not want to seem ungrateful, so I accepted. Let me tell you county jail is an interesting place, and by interesting I mean scary, first place I visited was the minimum security ward, ok that was cool, next place was gen pop, now that shit was scary, and I am not a person who scares easily, I had inmates starting conversations with me talking about how clean their cells were to catching mice in their cells, i'm not gonna lie i puffed out my chest as big as I could, and dropped my voice by three octaves. The next place I visited was the gay ward, I did not know that they had a seperate place for homosexuals, and that kind of stunned me, but not as much as seeing guys with boobs, i asked my guide about their policies on tv and his response was as long as they have a dick they go in this ward. After visiting the jail, I have to admit I don't know how keen I am on working for the sherriffs dept.

LA Stories pt2 flying ice cubes

2006-01-08T02:33:00.000-06:00

I am out at a bar in a shitty mood, pissed off at my friend, who has decided to sleep the whole time that I am visiting, I go to a bar to get something to eat, I am sitting down watching TV and eating my dinner, when I see an icecube flying towards me, with my cat lke reflexes I dodged the icecube, but I am livid that this Idiot threw an icecube at me from about 30 feet away, I get up to go find out why the hell he threw an icecube, and by find out I mean kicking this punk muthafuckas ass. As I make my way over to the moron he starts apologizing profusely, saying he was trying to get the girl who was standing next to me attention. I'm furious, why don't you get your fat white ass out of your barstool and go and talk to her instead of chucking icecubes which could possibly hit innocent bystanders, or more importantly me.

LA Stories pt1

2006-01-08T02:28:00.000-06:00

Ok I am gonna try and recount some of my LA adventures, first thing I want to rant about, sunglasses are meant to be worn during the day, you do not look cool you look like an Idiot, unless you are a blind, or trying to hide a black eye, leave the sunglasses off at night.

Home sweet home

2006-01-04T15:48:00.000-06:00

Man, it feels good to be back home, even if it is Minneapolis! After sleeping on a couch for the last 10 days, it feels so good to be sleeping in my bed, today I have not done a damn thing but let the dog out eat a slice of pizza, and vegetate in my own bed, did I mention how good it feels to be back in my own bed.
My flight back from LA yesterday was surprisingly good, despite all the new year travel, I ended up meeting a girl who I have had a crush on for a while at the airport, and we sat next to each other on the way home. I will admit the whole time flying back all I wanted to do was become a member of the mile high club, but alas there was no initiation for me. When I arrived into Minneapolis my buddy picked me up, and who did he have sitting in the back seat of his car, with his big ass head sticking out the window? Nanook. I was so pleased to see my puppy, I got a little stupid at the airport, and the airport police did not want to come near his big ass and tell us to move on.

I'm Baaack

2006-01-03T11:36:00.000-06:00

Firstly a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to everybody, I hope that everyone has a great 2006! I have been away from blog land for about 2 weeks, why? I hear you shout. Well it's because I visited LA and San Diego for the last 2 weeks, but I am home now back in the frozen tundra of Minneapolis. I do have a lot of stories to tell, and I will try to blog about them if memory serves. Again I hope everybody has a great year

My biological clock is kicking and I didn't even know it!

2005-12-21T21:23:00.000-06:00

I have to say I really enjoy my new school, I have a lot of good kids, and some really funny ones, but for some reason this week a couple of the kids have started to latch onto me. Now in my school I am considered the cool teacher, you know we all had one when we were back in school, that one teacher whose class everybody wanted to be in. This year that mantle has fallen upon my broad shoulders, I don't know if it's because I am the new teacher or maybe I am just that cool to middle schoolkids. But I digress, let me get back to my story, on Monday I saw a student who looked a little distressed so I approached him and asked him is everything ok, all of a sudden the boy just hugged me and said his stomach hurt, I immediately jumped away in shock and disbelief, if you have ever seen the new version of Charlie and the chocolate factory, my reaction was very similar to willy wonka when the little girl hugged him. Now I am not a callous person, but the image I project to my students is not one of love and caring, in fact quite the opposite, I am very tough with my kids, almost drill sergeant like, which is why I was so surprised for this kid to latch onto me. Afterwards I felt bad for not being more compassionate with him, but damn that shit scared me.
Today I was just standing at school, when a one of my female student just came and stood next to me, I didn't pay any attention to it at first, but when I moved around this little girl would always be next to me. Me and my blunt self asked why are you following me, she did not say anything, and just walked away. I asked some of the older teachers what the deal was with this girl, they just replied, just a different girl from a single family home. Then to make matters worse I received an invitation to her and one of her friends Xmas vacation party. Now I am torn between making an appearance at this party just so that I can support my students or ignore the request of a little girl reaching out for a father figure.

5 Random facts about me and Nanook

2005-12-19T07:46:00.001-06:00

OK Nanook and I have been tagged, thanks Cranberry.
Without further ado I present 5 Random Facts

5 Facts about me.

1. I was a 3 sport athlete in college.
2. I love cartoons, in fact I still rush home to watch cartoons after school.
3. I am allergic to dogs, but love them so much I would rather take medication and enjoy the happiness they bring me.
4. I am very picky.
5. I was nationally ranked in martial arts for three years.

5 facts about Nanook

1. Despite my cute looks, I am always causing trouble.
2. I have had 3 owners, but my current one is the best one.
3. I have never had sex, some bastard robbed me of my reproductive system, grrrr.
4. I hate it when my owner is doing something beside paying attention to me, be it blogging, video gaming, talking on the phone, watching TV, having female company. Dammit its my world.
5. I love Mcdonalds fries, but I run alot so I still keep my figure.

I tag Cindy, The Infamous Jen, Shinta, hustleman, and Cranberry( you didn,t say no tag backs)
Oh yeah no tag backs.

Pet Blogging Mondays

2005-12-19T01:17:00.000-06:00

I wanted to get some action shots of Nanook last night in the full moon with an outdoor back drop, but it was -14 degrees and my camera ran out of juice, I was able to get one good shot before I ran out of juice after this picture was taken we did a 3 mile run, it was so cold, my vision started to get impaired from ice forming on my eyelashes.

Comfort food

2005-12-15T23:18:00.000-06:00

Firstly thanks to all for your nice words and support in regards to dealing with crazy ex, I know I should ignore her crazy ass, but there will always be residual feelings. So contact with her always bums me out, then on top of that I had a rough day dealing with my tenants, and my insomnia is in full force, so today I was feeling pretty shitty. I figured I deserved some comfort food, so after school today I broke my no fast food rule, and decided to get a happy meal, now this was no ordinary happy meal, this was a future happy meal. A double whopper from Burger King, a large fries from Mcdonalds, a small fries for Nanook, a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar from the gas station, and orange juice from my fridge. Hmm yummy, seahag you would be proud. So many thousand of calories later, I am feeling better about the ex situation, but guilty for putting so much crap into my system, me and nanook will be doing some serious cardio tomorrow.

Leave me the hell alone pt II

2005-12-14T16:32:00.000-06:00

Ok I guess it is that time of year when the crazy ex tries to get in touch with me and tries to get a rise out of me, today I received an instant message that she has been getting a lot of phonecalls from gay people, now she is inferring that I have put her name in the local gay magazine. Fuck there is a reason why the sex was so good, she is fucking crazy, I mean completely off her rocker.
I responded with this email
FIrstly again I have no Idea what the fuck you are talking about, If you are receiving messages on a phone number which I don't even have, then I suggest you change the number again, secondly if you believe there is an Ad in Lavender magazine, then call them up and find out who placed the ad. Thirdly do not contact me again with your bullshit stories, next time I will take appropiate action, I do not wish to listen to your drama, or any puerile attempts to try and have me start an argument with you. Maybe I was not clear the first time I said this, OLIVIA YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME, GO AWAY, I DO NOT WANT ANY CONTACT WITH YOU, YOU ARE A CANCER
do you think she got the message, not bloody likely. If she wanted to talk to me there are other ways than trying to get a rise out of me.

Bring your pet to blog day

2005-12-12T01:27:00.000-06:00

Ok I have been trying to think of a new theme to put out there in blog world, and I have come up with pet blogging mondays. A lot of you out there have pets, and from what I have read, you are all very proud of your pets, and they bring you much joy, so I figure what a great way to start the week by trying to bring the joy which your pets give you to others.
The rules for Pet Blogging Mondays, you post a picture of your pet, or for those of you wiithout pets, maybe a pic of a an animal which you yearn for. You can post your pet in his natural habitat, or for all people who keep petsmart in business, a pic of your pet in costume, or doing something amusing.
Hopefully this will catch on like HNT or cock blogging wednesday's

The name is Abby, Dear Abby

2005-12-12T01:14:00.000-06:00

Saturday I received a phonecall from a girl I used to be interested in, it turns out that she got into a tiff with her new boyfriend, me being the caring person that I am, I tried to lift her spirits and tell her reassuring thing, and provide her with non tainted advice, on how to mend her relationship, or what to do if things don't change between her and her beau. I got to say this was a breakthru for me, able to dish out advice without malice despite being passed over. I am starting to grow up, now if only I can sleep without that nite lite.

To be a cop or not to be a cop 2

2005-12-12T00:30:00.000-06:00

Wow when one door closes another one opens up, even though this door has not closed entirely yet, after my disappointment with the powers that be who head the hiring department for the LAPD, I received a phone call from my college roommate's mother, she had just found out from her son that I am applying for the LAPD, it turns out that she is friends with one of the chiefs in the LA County sheriffs department, and passed on my information to him. I called him the next day, and we have set up a time to meet in 2 weeks. He said that if I apply, he will personally rush my application through the hiring process, and that he can offer me a job whilst waiting on the results of the application process. Woohoo things are looking up.

To be a cop or not to be a cop Pt 1

2005-12-12T00:04:00.000-06:00

For all you newcomers out there, I have been in the process of trying to become a member of the LAPD, I have been going through the background check process for almost three months now, and am getting somewhat frustrated with the lack of results and the snail like pace their beauracrocy works at. This is an organisation which is in desperate need of officers, and here you have somebody willing to leave a successfull teaching career, leave my home and relocate to LA for a thankless job. No I know I have some skeletons in my past, but I doubt anyhting which would require this much investigating. I called my case manager to find out what is going on with my case, I need to make decisions about what I am going to with my rental property, if I am going to finish out the school year. I was very polite with this guy, and his response was pure rudeness, I was so mad, i almost asked to have my application withdrawn, but cooler heads prevailed, and I hung up somewhat dejected. I spoke to one of my buddies and he suggested I looking into working for other agencies.

Ghetto white trash

2005-12-11T23:28:00.000-06:00

Ok so I had an incident with a parent and her punk ass child, this week, it started with the kid being defiant in my class two weeks ago, so I assigned a consequence, the kid kept on being defiant by not doing his consequence, when grades went out he had a shock, with the D that I gave him, his mother called and asked why I gave her son a D, I explained the boy does not try, he is defiant, and still owes me a consequence. This bitch tried to turn her sons behavior on me, by saying I should have contacted her earlier, I replied I did try to contact you, she vehemently denied me calling her, and tried to get smart with me, I replied with an equal smart remark, shit I dont get paid enough to put up with idiots like her. She then hung up, I figured ok another satisfied customer, later on that day the mother called up the school to say she was coming in to talk with me. Fine with me bitch, you want to get bowdy, I will show you bowdy. So the woman arrives at the school, and boy was she surprised to find out that I wasn't a white teacher, she tried to act all ghettofied on the phone talking her wannabe hood and street slang, not realising that I live in the hood, have been teaching inner city for 7 years and yes even though I have an English accent, I came out of one the rougher areas in London, Brixton. So after I showed this poor excuse for a mother all the incidents of her son fucking up, and that I had proof of me trying to contact her, her and her punk son started crying, I dont know what sympathy you are trying to get, but it sure as hell is not coming from me. You are fucking up your sons life with your poor ass attitude, and what that boy needs is discipline. Now I know I may sound harsh to some of you, but in this incident what this boy needs is some discipline, and not excuses from crazy parents.

A week in the life of

2005-12-11T23:23:00.000-06:00

Whew what a week!, I have had ups and downs this week, and yes I should of blogged daily when all this shit happened, but hey I'm a busy guy, so what I am going to do is try and give a synopsis of each event under a different title.

Somebody

2005-12-05T00:46:00.000-06:00

I have debated about posting this post for a while now, but tonight I have come to a conclusion, for those of you who have been a reader since the beginning of my blog, will know that i have problems finding a special person, tonight I am feeling somewhat melancholic, and I thought it would be good to put my emotions into words, now I have not exactly used my own words, but actually used the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. This song speaks volumes to me and what I go through every day, (sigh) it's hard being misunderstood.
Somebody by Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She will hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

Thank you Martin Gore for your words, they summed up my feelings to a tee

12 degrees and still running

2005-12-04T12:41:00.000-06:00

Ok peeps, last night was my coldest run of the year, 12 degrees, and a snow covered ground sidewalk, I can hear you all humming the rocky anthem rt now, surprisingly it wasnt that bad of run, luckily I have my wolf dog to keep me motivated, he is loving this weather.
Yesterday saw the classic southern california football rivalry between USC and UCLA, now I dont post about football too much, but I really do have a problem with the way the rankings have been decieded this year, UCLA have hovered in and close to the top ten all year, this from a team who have to come from behind four times to win games, and play in the weakest conference, thats right Pac 10, the weakest conference. Now the champeenship game has been decided, and unfortunately Penn State is not there, imho the best team in college footbal this year. Ok thats enough football talk for the day, time to watch my vikes demolish the lions.

Mans best friend

2005-12-01T19:26:00.000-06:00

Today some cocksucker opened up my fence, and let my puppy out of the yard. Luckily he did not go far, and I was able to find him pretty quickly, but this is very rare beacuase his breed are known for bolting. So I am dedicating this post to my puppy NANOOK.

Nanook at 9 moths, when I first adopted him

Dont disturb me i'm sleeping

Nanook now, almost as tall as me

One day I'll be as big as you

Nanook on his couch, and yes that is a big ass loveseat

Grrr, stay away from my seat

Lastly me and nanook on his seat

I told you STAY AWAY FROM MY SEAT

You can't keep a good man down

2005-11-29T10:32:00.000-06:00

You can't keep a good man down, or away for that matter. I hope everybody had a great turkey day, I myself had a very relaxing four days off, did not do much but play video games, I am now dwveloping a condition in my hands where they are constantly in the shape of a videogame controller. For Thanksgiving, I volunteered at a homeless shelter to hand out food and clean, it was really good to see so many people coming out for thanksgiving, but it would be nicer if they volunteered more than one day a year, but was still nice to see so many volunteers. Because i dont have a family here in the US, I was invited over to my friend's family's thanksiving dinner. I always feel a little uncomfortable, when invited to other peoples family events, I feel somewhat out of place because, well it is their family event. Did not do much after that went to a cool house gathereing where I met one person and all we did was talk about how much we dislike certain hollywood personas, it was a pretty cool conversation, andit was nice to meet somebody new, and no there were no romantic inclinations, just two people sharing good conversation. Ok I know this was a boring post, but that is my life, if something eventful does happen, you all will be the first to hear.

Geeks of the world unite

2005-11-24T11:13:00.000-06:00

OK folks I realize that my posts are becoming more sporadic over time, but I honestly have a good reason, as of Tuesday 12.15 A.M I became the proud owner of an xbox 360! Yes I am one of the geeks who waited in line for the new multimedia accessory of the moment. If anybody is interested, I will post my review of my early xmas present. OK back to gaming, Have a happy thanksgiving everybody

Bring back the good old days

2005-11-16T22:35:00.000-06:00

Wow two posts in one day, I am returning to blogging with a vengence. I am going to try and keep my posts mostly light hearted in the spirit of trying to erase the negativity which has come to surround my blog universe.
I don't know if anybody else has noticed that there is a trend in dating patterns, this can come from body parts to style to race, hell it was even trendy to be bisexual for a while. Being a single light skinned biracial person I pay attention to dating trends. I reemember when light skin brothers were the shit, everybody wanted them an Al B Sure, Christopher Willams type brother. Even MJ noticed this, although he went a little too far with the bleach. Then Wesley Snipes had to come along and ruin everything, soon after it was the darker the berry the sweeter the juice period. Now with the emergence of Justin Timberlake and eminem, it would seem that white males are the en vogue choice of dating preferences. Now I am not mad at how the trends have leaned, ok fuck that I'm mad, we need to have a revolution. Rock, shemar, Vin, all you pretty high yellow bastards need to come out of the woodwork and get your faces into regular rotation, because us little people are suffering.

I hate the cold

2005-11-16T22:12:00.000-06:00

Ok for those of you who are new to my blog, I am currently trying to become a police officer, I have not been accepted yet, but am trying to raise my level of fitness, so that I am prepared once I enter the academy. I have been running, lifting weights, attending combat submission classes, and have been trying to clean up my diet, I recently gave up all alcohol and red meat, damn I could murded a steak right now. I also live in Minneapolis, quite possibly one of the worst places to live in the US, it is blazing hot in the summer, and freakishly cold in the winter, which leads me to my post. I have been running 3 to 4 miles about 5 times a week, for the last 6 weeks, unfortunately winter has finally found its way to the mini apple, today on my run it was 16 degrees, and that does not even include the wind chill, whilst running it reminded me off a funny story which happened to me back in college days.
When I attended college back in the day, I was on the track team, I was nothing special, did not get recruited, but was noticed one day whilst working out, and asked to join the track team. I figured why not, damn that shit was tough, running sprints, then finishing up with some type of multi mile cool down, needless to say I was in the best shape of my life back then. Well one day I decided to do a run outside, now this was in the dead of winter, the temp had been registered at minus 50 with wind chill, and that is not an exaggreration. Now I was raised in the carribean, and this cold shit i still could not get used to, but I knew that if iwas going to run in this shit, I had to layer my clothes, so I started out with a t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweat shirt, wind breaker. I was ready to go I had my hat, my gloves and I was out the door. About half a mile into my run I realised that in all my careful planning and layering, I had totally protected my upper body, but completely forgot to protect my lower body. I dont think my meat and two vegg have ever forgiven me for the pain which I subjected my future stick too. I tried to stick out the run, but the pain was unbearable, and had to high tail my caramel colored ass back home. Once home I think it took at least an hour for little future to defrost(i call him little future because there was much shrinkage that day).
Todays run was nowhere near as cold as that day, but it is a reminder that winter is here, and God I hate the cold.

I apologize

2005-11-12T18:23:00.000-06:00

Ok I owe the people who do occasionally stop my blog an apology, I just have not been much into writing recently, my blog experiences have been marred, I still peruse all your blogs profusely, but I have to admit what I see out there upsets me. I see so much negativity it really is quite depressing, and I don't mean peoples odd rants and raves, but I am talking about malicious blog bashing, At least five of the blogs which I read have had some kind of drama, and I mean hurtful talk about your mama type drama. When I first started blogging, it was a fun hobby, I met some cool people, read a lot of amusing blogs, and learned more by reading people's blogs than what i could find in the newspaper about different current events. I do have some advice for my fellow bloggers, when we blog we share a part of ourselves, and yes we do have people out there who follow our blogs, if we know that what we are going to write could potentially upset somebody, I say choose discretion, yes you may be a card carrying member of the klan, a cracker hating member of the black panthers, a pro choice republican, a pinko lefty, whatever you are take responsibility for your blog, and dont be afraid to learn.
I hope to be back blogging with regularity soon.
P.S thanks Gareth for just being the person that you are

A boring ass Minneapolis weekend

2005-11-06T23:24:00.000-06:00

Ok this a rare occasion for me, I am actually home this weekend in the mini apple, and I am bored out of my freaking gourd, Friday did not do anything, walked the dog, then came home and stayed in and watched quality Friday night TV, at about 1:30 A.M, I heard a commotion going on outside my house, being the concerned(nosy) neighbour that I am I look out the window to see some morons throwing pumpkins into the middle of street, what is the term used to describe these people, oh yes I remember FUCKING IDIOTS. I shout out my window in "you better pick that shit up" Now why did i get involved? It turns out these are my tenants friends, so I am somewhat responsible, now I know I am not getting my caramel colored ass out of bed to clean up their shit, so I have to resort to my teaching/dog command voice to get them to clean up their mess. Their response was pretty funny, all apologetic they come back out with trash bags, and start cleaning the middle of the street of pumpkin. Ha Ha I love my bad attitude.
Saturday was another lazy day but that night my friend MT asked me to go see Shopgir, I knew nothing about his movie except it starred Claire Danes(boring actress) and Steve Martin(unfunny guy in my opinion) I wanted to see Jarhead, I know typical guy, but hey what can I say I posess a penis.
My opinion of Shopgirl, go see this movie, this was an excellent movie, Jason Scwartzman was excellent comic relief, and I was really impressed with the cinematography and imagery , Martin and danes played their roles very convincingly, you actually feel sorry for both of them during the movie. A great date movie.
Sunday was a stay in bed day, the weather was cold, and I did not feel like doing a damn thing, oh and my background investigation is finally over, it should be only a couple of weeks untiol I find out if i'm the popo.

My LA weekend

2005-11-04T00:51:00.000-06:00

Now I know I should have posted this before my last airport story, but I needed to get that off my chest first. I arrive into LA without a hitch, goto the rental parking lot to pick up my car, and what happens? There's no friggin car waitng for me, I speak to the attendant, and he gives me a free upgrade, woohoo, what car to pick? I spy a sebring convertible an d I think perfect, aconvertible in sunny LA, you can't beat that. Folks let me tell you something, stay away from sebrings, they are one piece of shit vehicles, apart from having absolutely no power, the damn car has the turning radius of a semi without power steering!!
Friday night I partied at a black club in LA, which was pretty cool with the exception of I have never seen so many ugly people congregate in one place, but that's ok I have a date on Saturday, and I am not trying to spread myself thin.
Saturday's date was pretty cool, we played miniture golf, air hockey, did some Go Kart racing, and walked around an arcade. An interesting observation, I don;t know if you guys are familiar with the dance dance revolution video games, it is kind of like the game Simon, except you you use your legs to push the buttons instead of your hands, my date and I spot this kid just going to town on this machine, and you knew this kid was serious because he came to the arcade with his towell and his gatorade, I think he might be getting sponsored by soul train.
My date went pretty well, but there was no real sparks between us, so we agreed to be friends, and I am ok with that because she was cool to begin with, and I you can never have too many friends, unless your MC Hammer.
Saturday night I hit up this club in the OC, it was pretty cool, I dressed up as Anakin Skywalker, and I went all out, I'm talking Jedi robe, anakin outfit, even a lightsaber, I tell youteh force is strong with this one!
Sunday I lounged around until it was time for me leave for the airport

Airports can kiss my caramel colored ass

2005-11-04T00:50:00.000-06:00

Ok now I know it sounds like I am making these airline stories up, but let me promise you they are 100% true with no embellishments , I hate airports and they hate me. For my return trip back from Los Angeles, I knew that I had take the 405 to grt to LAX, I knew about the 405’s reputation of being the worlds biggest car park, so I gave myself a 55 minute time period to drive what would normally take 10 minutes, I jump on th 405 traffic is moving at a strady pace then bam, gridlock, that’s ok I have plenty of time, there is probably some type of accident up there, what is it with people always slowing down to a snails pace when there is an accident? You can’t do anything about it, you are not going to stop and help. So just keep driving, and stop causing traffic jams. Back to my gridlock hell, we chug along at a snails pace, when sure enough there is an accident, great now the pace can pick up, or so I thought, no we are still continuing at a Fema response time pace, now I am starting to get worried, I do not want to miss my flight. Finally I encounter the second accident on the 405, now traffic is starting move, I finally get to budget and drop of my rental car, except now the shuttle bus is running late, finally he arrives, but now the shiftless bastard is taking a break, I ask him can we leave seeing as you are running 15 minutes behind schedule, and I have a to be at he airport in 4 minutes. This muthafucker tries to hustle me, he says he cant leave right now, but if I take care of him he will, I’m in a hurry so I throw him a couple of bucks and we are on our way. I try to check in using the auto check in and it tells me that I cannot check in now, I flag down an attendant, she tells me if I run you can make it on the flight, only problem is, is that my gate is at the end of the airport, no problem I am used to running for a flight, I take of flying, I get to the security point I ask the TSA agent is this the right way to my gate, she replies no it is in the other section, FUUUUCCCKKK, a couple seconds later she informs me she is kidding, ha ha very funny motherfucker, do I look like a person with a sense of humor rt now. I go thru the x-ray machine, same drill as before, backpack on my back, pants in the other hand, and take off running, right as I get to the gate, they are closing the door, I yell stop, I’m on that flight, I get on the plane and start to breathe a little easier when I remember, SHIT I LEFT MY CARRY ON AT THE XRAY MACHINE. I in form the stewardess I left my other bag at the x-ray machine and I take off running again, luckily they did not turn my bag over to the bomb squad, I grab my bag and start running back to the plane. Second time around I get there before the plane is taking off, but they wont let me back on the plane, and I have to get the next flight.
Next fucking flight does not leave for another hour, and on top of that I have a 3 hour layover in Vegas. Ok so I finally am on the red eye from Vegas to Minneapolis, everything is cool, I have nobody sitting next to me, I can sleep on the red eye, the plane takes off and I start to fall asleep, the end, but no there’s more, a couple spys my empty seats and decide to sit next to me, thus waking me up in the process of their changing seats, but then on top of that the inconsiderate assholes put their dome lights on. YOU FUCKING MORONS, IT’S A RED EYE, PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING, MORE IMPORTNATLY I’M SLEEPING. SO now I am flying a damn redeye which will arrive in Minneapolis at 4:15, and I have to work at 7:30, and I can’t sleep because of some brain and manner deficient asshole.
This is why I hate flying

Reason 2435 to hate flying

2005-10-28T22:35:00.000-05:00

Ok now I know I have not posted for a couple of days, but I have been just that darn busy, what with coming back from LA, work , trying to find a damn Halloween costume, and yes that was very time consuming, and the meeting of a new prospective, I have been hella busy. I am on my way to LA again; I actually tallied my frequent flyer miles for the last month, 10,000! In the last month alone.
Ok now I had decided I am not going to rush this trip to LA, I had my bags packed early, I had all my reservations set, even I’m gay, I’m not gay Robert offered to give me a ride to the airport. I told him to pick me up at 1:35, because my flight leaves at 2:45, and I need to be there to check in at least a half hour before the flight leaves. The cocksucker does not arrive until 1:55 FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. He gets to me the airport at 2:11, again there is only one person handling passengers at the ticket counter, I get tended to at 2:16, when the clerk informs me that they have shut down the gate. I go ballistic I am one of those irate passengers from that one reality airport TV show, I start to freak out on the clerk why the fuck do you only have one person working the counter, she replies it is not her fault that they are understaffed, I reply you just merged with us air, how the fuck are you understaffed. Another clerk comes of his brake and tries to talk to me, he offers me an emergency escort pass, but I will have to run to catch the plane, Fuck more running through the airport, I might as well change my name to Jerry O.J. Simpson Maguire. I take off running to my gate, luckily no random security check at security, rip off my shoes and belt and throw them throw the x-ray machine. Once they emerge, I pull on my shoes quickly, not bothering to put on my belt, it would take too much time, and I take off running, backpack on my back, suitcase in one hand, my belt less pants in the other, so they wont fall down . I arrive at the gate with seconds to spare. My first flight is to Vegas, and I am stuck next to some corn bred redneck who thinks that he can monopolize the armrest, sorry Billy Joe bob, but I am in no mood to put up with your bullshit, this “boy” is going to be utilizing part of that armrest, and get that cow milking arm on your side of the seat. Next reasons for hating flying, the fat guy behind me, forgot to attend health the class the day they were learning about noxious body odors, and ways to combat them. Hey fat man it’s called a shower and soap, and if that doesn’t work try deodorant, it about three bucks and can be found at most grocery stores, pharmacies or retail chain stores.
I finally arrive in Vegas, and I am starving, only problem is that the only food around is a Taco Hell, I am not a big fan of Taco Bell, but beggars cant be choosers, I order 2 soft tacos no tomatoes, not a difficult order, or at least so I thought. When I look over at employee making my tacos I watch her put tomatoes on my taco, Ok no problem it’s a simple mistake, I inform her I ordered my food sans tomatoes, what she did next stunned me, she reaches into the taco and starts to pull the tomatoes out, whoaaaa Nellie, if you think I am eating that you better take another hit from the bong, remake my damn taco you corner cutting, non order listening excuse for employee of the month.
Now the only good thing about this journey, out of all the airports I have visited McCarran is the only one with free wifi, I jumped online and had scintillating conversations with new prospect over IM. Hopefully my flight back will be less eventful.

Damn its cold back here

2005-10-24T18:14:00.000-05:00

Ok I am back in the land of 10000 lakes, Minneapolis. My long weekend in LA was pretty good, got to hang out with my cousin, went to a few night spots, surfed a little. Definitely was a relaxing weekend. I even was able to avoid the running through the airport this time on my return trip, still had to suffer the random security check, but i'm not mad.
Today it is 40 freaking degrees, I am freezing my ass of after my mid 70 degree weekend, school was ok today, except when I arrive at school at 7:30 A.M the fire bell goes off, so I cannot enter the building until we get the all clear,and I have to suffer the cold some more, can you tell i hate the cold, hopefully only a few more weeks until i move to LA

Sore thumb

2005-10-22T13:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's surfing was not that great, I decided to hit Newport beach, and see what that was like, the weather was kind of shitty, the waves were not that good, and as usual the ocean is cold, thank God for wetsuits.
Later that night my buddy took me to a club, back in theOC, I say back inthe OC, because I spent 2 days hanging out there, and came up to LA to see my buddy, and where does he take me? Back to the OC. The club we went to was pretty cool, it was clean, seemed safe, the music was good,the drinks were flowing, the patrons were attractive, so what was wrong with my experience? The club was 99% asian! Talk about sticking out! Now dont get me wrong this is not an anti asian post, quite the opposite, I love Asian people, especially the always so pretty asian females. No I just felt somewhat out of place, I am used to being a minority in most social situations, but this time I felt evn more out of place, not because anybody made me feel that way , just my own sense of displacement preying on my psyche.
Lastly I have read two spiteful comments on some other peoples blogs I peruse, my words to you assholes, why dont you fuck off and spend the time you put into trying to hurt somebody and work on some self improvement, If you don't like what a person is writing, then don't read it, I know I only read the blogs of people I want too, if I find something offensive I will constructively add my 2 cents, what I dont agree with is some asshole leaving anonymous, spitefull , cowardly comments.
Hope everybody has a great weekend, today I am hoping to actually party in LA.

Stealing bandwith

2005-10-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post today, i am in sunny LA again, today I am in the OC doing some surfing, the water kind. Yesterdays trip was uneventful, still packed 10 mins before leaving, still had to run thru the aiprort ala jerry maguire, but did not have to suffer the "random security check" I think they are starting to recognise, I am travelling so much.
Today I could not find a coffee shop or a borders for me to surf the net on, so my resourceful self drove to a ritzy neighbourhood, parked out side a bunch of houses,and did a search for wireless networks, surely enough I knew there woulod be an unsecure network, so here I am blogging on somewhat elses is network, lol.
Would like to say thanks to all the nice things said in my last post, you are all very cool people, and I hope Karma rewards you. i would have done it of course, but I don't know any of you.
Will post later on tonight, i'm going to the beach

Leave me the hell alone

2005-10-17T11:08:00.000-05:00

So my ex is back to her ways of trying to get a rise out of me, yesterday she had her new boyfriend send me a message, my God this girl is so fucking stupid. The message from her boyfriend, "was I am the nigga she is praying for everday", he is stationed in Iraq, "your beef is not for IM". I replied "I hope you return from Iraq safely, ex girlfriend fuck off".
Then this morning she called me and hung up, but thanks to the beauty of caller ID I figured out who it was calling me. I sent her an email that said
"I don't want to contact you, I have not wanted to contact you, I had erased all evidence of you from my life, then you had to pull that stupid porn accusations, just so that you can cause drama. Since you did that I have lost all respect for you, and now you have caused a rift. Olivia leave me the fuck alone, I do not want anything to do with you.
I love you
I hate you
I never want to speak to you again"
Hopefully she will get the hint, I really do wish we could talk , but my head tells me to stay the fuck away from her, she will only hurt me again.
Love is the most wonderfull and most hurtfull emotion

I am the law?

2005-10-15T23:29:00.000-05:00

On friday I got to go on a ride along with one of my cop buddies, what an evening, I definitely learned a lot of what to and what not to do, in just that evening.
I started of at the precint at 9 pm, met up with my buddy, signed all the nessacary paperwork, and got ready to roll. I am practically pissing myyself I am so excited.
First stop the gas station to pick up snacks and what forth for the night. Me being the smart ass that I am, I could not resist the temptation to buy a donut, I mean i'm gonna be sitting in a cop car, my ride would not be complete without a donut. I go to the counter to pay for the donut, and the clerk must have assumed i was an undercover cop, because he gave me the donut for free! I think I am going to like this cop thing, now if only I could get the nice people at best buy and circuit city to give me my purchases for free.
Next stop, we get a noise complaint for a fraternity house, we arrive at the house, and there is another officer banging on the door trying to get the occupants attention. Those wily college kids decide to ignore, the first officer, we shall call him officer k, starts to get very frustrated, he walks around to the side of the house and shines his flashlight into the basement window to try and get peoples attention, again they ignore him. He is now getting very irate, now this the lesson i learned on what not to do. i have been known to have somewhat of a temper, but I normally refrain from losing it over such trivial things such as a bunch of scared underage college afraid to open door in case they get in trouble. Officer K shoots a little bit of mace into the fan which then disperses the mace over the basement, this causes a mass exodus from the house. Now I do not condone what he did, I do think there are other ways of getting the party to shut down, and I will cover that later on in this post. My buddy, officer C, both agreed that he went to far, but I will admit it was funny to see everybody scampering out of the house, trying not to get arrested. Funny thing is we were not there to arrest anybody, just to shut the party down. On the way back to the car I spot a guy sitting in the front seat. Officer C had accidently left his door open, and some dumbass wanted to get his picture taken whilst sitting in the cop car. What a fucking idiot, who gets in a cop car for fun? I call for C and I got to chase the guy and detain him until C catches up with me, keep in mind C is a 6'5 260 pound black guy. C is furious that this guy was in his car, and quite rightly to,now C is not one to abuse his authority, but he is livid, I think because he made a mistake and allowed somebody access to his car, and the fact that some idiot had the audacity to sit in his car. When C arrived he asked the guy are you a fucking idiot? C then threatened to whoop the guys ass. I knew he wouldn't do it, but he wanted to put the frighteners on dumbass.
Second call we goto another noise complaint, and shut down that party
Third call another noise complaint! This time I went around the back whilst the cops knocked on the door, what I saw cracked me up, the back door flys open, and all these college kids are running for dear life down the ally, I couldnt resist and had to say a smartass remark as these guys take off.
Fourth call another noise complaint, is there a trend here on a Friday night? This time it is just me and C going to this party, C handled it real cool, he spoke to one of the guests who was hanging outside, and asked him to talk to the owners of the party to shut it down, so that he wouldnt have to go and make scene. To me this was a cool way to shut down a party, everybody left on their own accord, there was no mass exodus of people afraid of getting arrestred, there was no mace being sprayed.
Fifth incident we get a code 3, this is the code for an emergency, it wasnt a big emergency, just a car crash, but we dont know the whole details until we get there. Now the fun begins, I get to turn on the lights and we start to fly through the traffic, man what a rush. I have done 80 on city streets before, but it is a different feeling when everybody pulls over to the curb as you speed by. Once we arrive at the car crash, I get to wave people around the car crash, not a terribly important job, and not one which I should be doing at all seeing as I am an observer, but C has worked with me on various security gigs, so he trusts me to help him out. Turns out some girl wrapped her car around a telephone pole, whilst answering her cell phone, luckily she was ok, but does anybody see the irony of hitting a telephone pole, because you tried to answer your phone? We wait around forever for the tow truck to arrive, then we go on a break.
Sixth and final call we goto take a report of a girl who was mugged. One thing I learned is that a lot of cops are lazy. Nobody was taking this assignment because they did not want to have to do the report. I hope I never get that jaded, I plan on being the best officer possible, and i will only harrass yuppies(joke). It was so funny after C took the call to do the robbery, all of a sudden all the other cops were free to pick up other assignments. I thought that was some major bullshit, this poor girl had been waiting around forever for someone to take her statement.
All in all i had a pretty fun night/early morning, but on the flip side, I was assigned in a pretty safe area, but all through out the night i heard reports of shots fired, domestic abuse situations, attempted murder. And I do realise that even though I had a fun time there are a lot of horrible individuals out there, and the world is not a nice place at timesl. But that just pushes me more to become a cop, so that I can do my little bit to make the world just a little bit better.

Kids say the darndest things

2005-10-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

Ok here is my Bill Cosby impression, today at school i had a students ask me the strangest question

1. Mr T. can you check to see if i'm musty.

I obviously made my excuses, there is no way i am sticking my nose in one of these kids armpits or anybody eles's for that matter.

Just booked another flight to LA, for someone who hates flying, I am sure racking up the frequent flyer miles

When one door closes another one opens

2005-10-12T10:13:00.000-05:00

Ok first of let me just say that Columbus day sucks, the one day when I absolutely have to goto the bank and post office, they are closed, aaarrrggghhhh!
Again another semi interesting day in the life of me! Was supposed to have another date last night with another new girl, what another one I hear you gasp, yes, now dont get me wrong, I am by no means a player, gigolo, pimp, or whatever the term you kids are using these days, I am just trying to find that one person who is compatible with me. Well this date never happened, turns out she had to work late, so I was left with an open evening, I call one of my friend and find out if she wants to get a drink and a bite to eat. She replies yes, but also do I want to watch a movie at her house. Sounds like a nice easy going evening, so I agree, we decided to skip the dinner and drinking part, because my tardy ass could not get over to her house on time, and watch the movie. Im sitting on the floor, and she is on the couch behind me, when she starts to rub the back of my neck, ok I think nothing of it, were friends, it's relaxing, i continue to watch the movie. I move from the floor to the couch, then she starts to sprawl on me, again I think nothing of it, its a small couch, were friends, she just wants some space. The movie is over, she asks me do i want to stay the night, I reply sure, it's late, were friends, I think nothing of it. I get into bed with her then all of a sudden I feel a bare ass, ok now all the signals click into place, all of a sudden i am thinking decisions, decisions. To cut a long story short, I made my excuses, somethin lame to the effect of I am not liking this bed, came home and released the poisons. Now why did I leave my friend in her state of hornyness? Well it was not something we had discussed, it was just presented to me, so that kind of took me by surprise. I don't know what her intentions are be it friends with benefits, or more. I am still planning on moving to Cali, so I dont want to hit and quit. Sometimes I wish my heart, brain and penis were on the same page.

Why LA is better than Minneapolis

2005-10-08T14:13:00.000-05:00

After a restful night on my buddies couch, I go to the training facility where I am hoping to start, the first thing I noticed all the recrutis have their head shaved. AARRRRGGGGHHHH please tell me I am not going to have to shave my head, I have good hair, I am proud of my curly locks, I am afraid that it will not grow back entirely, shit. I walk around the facility asking some questions, making notes, so that I can be somewhat prepared for when I start here.
After my little recon mission I decided to go see my friend in Huntington Beach, I have not seen her since she moved to cali, so I owe her a visit. We meet up and I have the bright idea, lets eat at sizzler, I have never eaten at a sizzler, my only knowledge of Sizzler is what I hear of in black comedies, so I want to experience what Sizzler has to offer. My dining experience was not that bad, except for a place that was supposed to be popular with black folks, all I saw was old white people, again Hollywood has lied.
It is a beautiful 80 degree day in LA, when I receive a phonecall from one of my tenants" how do you turn the heat on, it's pretty cold in here". Now it is only October and there is no way we should be turning the heat on yet, I ask my tenant one question," did you take the ac unit out of the window yet?" his reply "uuhh no" I explain to him the physics of having an open window and how heat escapes. I call back a few hours later to find out if the house has warmed up, amazingly the temperature has risen inside the house.
I call gay/metro Robert to vent to him about the stupidity of some people, when he starts to complain that it was cold also, I ask him "is your window AC unit still in?" What do you think his reply was? I tell you some people.
Now the real reason as to why LA is better than Minneapolis, apart from not having to put up with cold weather. I have a date, woohooo. This was literally one of the best dates I have been on in a while, we meet up at Barnes and Noble, and goto Cheesecake Factory for a fruity drink. After our drinks we go to a rock climbing wall and get our sweat on, and yes I do mean by climbing rocks. After our workout we goto a little asian restaurant and order some food and more drinks, we started to fuck with the waiter and order some obscure drinks just to test the bar. After dinner and more pleasant conversation we ride the ferris wheel at a nearby mall, corny, yes but i am a cornball when it comes to matter of the heart. After more chatting and learning about each other, we decided to goto an amusement park, I'm telling you this would not be happening in Minneapolis. We did some rides, ate some greasy food, shared laughs, all in all a fun time. At the end of the night she dropped me off at my rental car gave me a goodnight kiss thanked me and we went our seperate ways. Will there be a second date? I don't know, but what I do know is that there is definitely a lot of fun things to do in LA, pretty women, great weather, and I LOVE LA.

Another reason to hate airports

2005-10-08T13:44:00.000-05:00

I have not posted for a couple of days, due to travelling and having an extremely busy schedule. Thursday I left for LA( my soon home to be). Again i almost miss my flight, I really have to learn to pack the night before instead of coming home and throwing whatever clothes I have from my laundry hamper into a bag. Luckily I made it to the airport this time with 5 minutes to spare. My flight to Vegas was pretty uneventful, no crashes or such. On my layover in Vegas I decided to freshen up, gotta look my best for the LA women you know. In the bathroom I spot an old guy in a wheelchair having some problems moving, I ask him "do you need any assistance" He readily accepts my help of pushing him into the handicapped stall. After brushing my teeth and making sure that my hair is just right, I check on the old guy to see if everything is ok. He replies "he is going to need help in pulling his pants on." Damn, I dont mind pushing the guy, but helping him get dress after he just took a dump, man I am earning my boy scout ribbons today. I take a deep breath from outside of the stall and go in, after helping him get his pants on I start to wheel him out to his attendant. Once we reach his attendant, the old man reaches into his wallet and tries to tip me. Now this is my rant for the day, I dont know whether to be insulted or gracious. I have a problem with somebody trying to tip another person for doing a kind deed, I mean what has this world come to. I refuse his money, and tell him have a safe flight.
Upon arriving at LAX I walk outside to seem my shuttle bus pass me, I start chasing the damn bus and running through the airport like Jerry Mcguire, just once I would like to not have to run at an airport. Now I am sure this asshole saw me, because damn near everybody and their mother saw me chasing this asshole, but he would not stop and i had to wait for the next one.
Later on that night my cousin and i decided to check out this Martini bar called Lola's. We arrive their at a relatively early hour, we approach the bouncer, and this moron asks"Are you on the list?", no asshole I am not on the list, and neither is anybody else in there. There is no damn list, there was no cover, no special event, you just want to make you little hole in the wall bar seem pretentious. It was funny, I tell the guy no, and he still lets us in, just goes to show you what people in LA will do to make their clubs look cool, DUMBASSES.

No hablo espanol

2005-10-05T18:02:00.000-05:00

I have had more students dumped into my classes, this time problem kids and two students who do not speak English, but hey we can do that Brown skin communication thing which white people don't know how to do. Ok you got me brown people do not have a secret way of communicating, but you would think so judging by the administration at my school. I also had a meeting about our most problematic student, and the great minds above have come up with a great idea on how to deal with this kid, let him do what he wants, and ignore him, because his behavior is a cry for attention, and when we respond to his behavior we give him attention. No shit his behavior is a cry for attention, but burying our heads in teh sand is not going to make it go away, we are sending the message that it is ok for him to act like a jack ass. The attention he needs is discipline, and lots of it. Have his family sit with him in classes, inconvenience her to the point where she starts to discipline him at home.
Minneapolis is one of the few places where you could use your AC and your heater in the space of hours, two days ago 80 degrees, today 41 degrees.
Oh and my background investigator contacted me, he wanted my address in England, the one from 13 years ago, so that he could run a check on me thru interpol. Good lord, these people are thorough. I don't think I have anything in my background which might concern interpol, well with the exception of being brown skinned, but again that is a rant for another day, ok here is a taste. Racial Profiling at the airport, does it or does it not exist.

Finally Back

2005-10-05T10:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have not been posting over the last couple of days, Why Future? I hear you cry. Well the truth is I have just not felt like it, every so often I go into these bad moods, some might say manic. I like to refer to these periods of time as my period, and when they occur I am not good company for anybody, I am the quintessential dark cloud. But it seems that the sun is finally starting to shine again for me.
Nanook is doing a lot better, thanks to all who sent good wishes, he has a tongue like a snake now, I joke around and call him a parsel tongue. But he does not seem to notice his new disfigurement.
Now I made the mistake of telling a few people I know that I now keep a blog, one of the good things about a blog is that it is anonymous, I can be honest with myself and write my true feelings down without having to worry about anybody I know judging me. Don't get me wrong, i love the interest that i have had from my blog family, but I will probably never meet you guys, and will not have to ever worry about you think of me. This brings up the problem of people who know me. One of the people I told about my blog has been inncessantly asking me to mention him in my blog, like this is a CD cover or something, but just to get this person to stop bugging me I am sending a message to annoying, gay, Jewish guy, Robert you still owe me fifty dollars. Ok I did it, I hope you are appeased. Actually Robert will only admit to two of the three traits I mentioned, but I know the truth about him.

My poor dog

2005-10-02T21:54:00.000-05:00

Today I was out on one of my marathon walks with Nanook, my puppy, when a pitbull runs out of his yard and bites my dog on his tongue, I immediately interject and usher the dog inside his yard, and shut the fence. I call the owner over to tell him his dog bit my dog, the bastard says he locked his gate, I tell him if the gate was locked my dog would not have got bit. I immediately call an emergency vet and report the dog bite, they recommend bringing him just to check up on him. Now I am mile away from home, and it would take me ages to get bcak to my house, luckily I knew a guy who was working near by, I quickly walk over to his work and ask to borrow his pick up. Luckily there was no major damage to my dog, he may bark with a lisp :). But nothing serious. Now I am not mad at the dog which bit my dog, canine behaviour dictates that dogs will bite, but the asshole owner who refused to take responsibility for not locking his fence, his ass I wanted to kick. NOw I know violence does not solve any problems, but dammit I bet you would remember to lock your fucking fence next time.
I swear the weekends go by so quickly.

Hola or is it hello

2005-09-30T07:55:00.000-05:00

Wow what a day yesterday, it all started the previous night, for some reason I could not sleep, all I could think of was my ex girlfriend, the one who ripped out my heart and did a dance around it like the witch that she is, do I sound bitter?
The next morning at school, I am logging on to my cpu, when i get an IM from my ex accusing me off using her credit card for porn!!! WTF, here is how most of the conversation goes
Me: I have no idea what you are talking about
Crazy ex girlfriend: I knew you would not admit it
Me: again I have no idea what you are talking about, now please just go away
CEG: Don't worry about it, my nigga (she is now dating a black guy) took care of it.
ME: LOL, your nigga? Do u know how stupid you sound?
CEG: I will see you in small claims court
me: Good then you can have the court trace the IP address, and find out that it was one of your other "niggas" who did it.
Me: You are nothing but an attention whore
CEG: I know you did just not call me a whore
ME: no you are an attention whore, your trying to cause drama
CEG: Dont call me a whore
ME: dont call me a thief
we then part, I am somewhat annoyed, but yet feeling a litle unsure inside, I know this is weak sounding, but she honestly the only girl that i can say that i cared about. I send her an email telling her I had nothing to do with her credit card bill, I am finally done with her, don't contact me again.
later on that day she contacts me again WTF
CEG: I know you needed closure from us but I would never have used your credit card
ME: what makes you think that oi would do that
CEG: Because of the things that I did to you,
ME: First of I don't have a malicious nature, secondly if I want porn, I can download it for free.
CEG: It happened in January and I know that you like porn.
You are telling me this girl who thinks that i used her credit card in January is now coming to question me about it, methinks I smell a ruse here.
ME: Stop contacting me, we are done, you have yourself a new "nigga" (I am going to make her feel stupid for that comment, I wonder does he go around calling her his chink? Lesson for the day people, it is not cool to use the word nigga, no matter what race you are)
That was just the beginning of my day.
Later on that day we have parent teacher conferences, aaarrrgghhh, I have to spend my evening listening to whiny parents now, but the funny thing that happened as I am walking thru the office the secretary approaches me and asks me to translate spanish for a new student, I politely inform the secretary that I am not bilingual. Five minutes later i am sitting at my desk when another teacher comes up to me and asks me to translate spanish for a parent. Ok people second lesson for the day, yes I have brown skin, but that does not automatically make me fluent in spanish, hell I speak better English than you,(you know that whole living in London as a kid will give you a grasp of the English language). So again I inform the teacher that i do not speak spanish, but this time, I had to add is it because I have brown skin? ( just wanted her to feel uncomfortable, mean, I know, but hey at least it will help her come to terms with her ignorance). She responds in a flustered voice, "no, no, I had just heard a rumour that you spoke spanish." I wonder where she heard that? at the local Klan/Republican convention.
Conferences go well, had a lot of compliments on how well I am doing at this new school, and they are glad to actually see some structure in the class room, even had the engineer/custodian come up to me and was glad to see how order i have, he told me he always had a tough time cleaning up after the last teacher, because the kids would leave the room a mess.
Finally at 8 i can go home, I have put in 11.5 hours to day at school, I am exhausted.
Once I get home, I take the dog out for a walk, on my walk I receive a phone call from my friend who was having boyfriend problems, but this phone call had a different vibe to it, she asked me if I wanted to come over and see her new room? To be honest i think she was giving off the whole when not happy with boyfriend, break glass for emergency penis. And I was the emergency penis. Now I am not saying that I would of performed all of the emergency Penis functions, but it would have been nice just to make out for a little bit
I finish up my walking the dog, and make the phone call to let her know that I am coming over, and who should answer the phone? The Boyfriend, DOH, my friend gets on the phone, and I say let me guess you have company now, She replies sheepily yes. I find the whole episode amusing, but it would have been even more amusing if I had been over there and he showed up.

Can't think of a witty title today

2005-09-28T23:19:00.000-05:00

Well I have been pretty lazy about posting over the past 2 days, sorry, no excuse, just a lazy ass. What's new in your life future I hear you ask? Well not a whole lot, started talking to another crazee, seems pretty cool, she's really into her music which is a good thing, she has a thing for teachers, which might be a good thing, at best could be a potential "how you doing" at worst could be a friend. Today I had to go get a massage, due to the aches and kinks in my neck from monday night. Now I am not a big fan of massages due to the llast time I had one the masseuse kept on feeling on my meat and two veg, now normally I wouldn't mind, but I am paying good money to be relaxed, and find it a little hard to relax when all I can think of is don't rise to attention, don't rise to attention. Well went in for a massage, today no feeling up on me, no happy ending, just a little refief in my neck.
Was going thru my old music yesterday and ran into my old depeche mode cd's. Depeche Mode was nine inch nails before nine inch nails was nine inch nails. Good stuff!
Booked another flight to LA for the 6th hopefully I will be able to do some surfing this time around.
Lbseahag- the only person who ever says i look like that guy is my buddy Roland Orzabal
Phats- I'm glad your gam gam is doing better
Gareth- Put down the whiskey
Steph-I'm sorry but she is smoking, but she probably does not have your love of porn

Ouch pt 2

2005-09-27T07:41:00.000-05:00

I am a big old ball of hurt rt now, could not even walk the dog this morning, sorry pup, I have bruises everywhere, and my neck is stiffer than a porn stars. I will be so locking my door during prep, and falling asleep. Phats and Gareth I will practice on you two if I have to.

Ouch

2005-09-27T00:34:00.000-05:00

Ok so I finally got back into the Gym today, and when I say gym, I'm not talking pumping iron type gym, no I mean i actually started martial art training again. Now it has been many moons since I picked up a focus mat, or decided to get sweaty with another male, and no not sweaty the way phats likes to get sweaty with other males. I decided to do a combat submission wrestling class today, as soon as I walk into the gym, the instructor recognizes me from a bar which I bounced at, oh great now he is going to think of me as a meathead who just wants to be more effective at tossing people out of bars. In all honesty I have close to a 90 % success rate in talking people out of a bar, and I hate getting physical, one I might get hit, and that would not be good, and two I cannot ruin my face as I am about to goto LA and be discovered as the next Peter North( if you have to ask, forget about it).
First we started of with some basic calisthenics on the mat, after 10 minutes of this I am already breaking a sweat, the evening does not bode well for me. We go thru drill for about the next hour and I am handling myself pretty well. For the last half hour he wants us to spar, 20 seconds into my first sparring session, and I catch an elbow to the eye, MUTHAFUCKA, there goes my modelling career, I now have a cut under my eye, and I have to teach tomorrow.
2nd match I am squaring off with some sasquatch, luckily no injuries, but I almost got him to submit.
3rd match the instructor wants a piece of this ass, is this like a rookie thing or something, so there is little ol me against the instructor, now think Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid, ok pictured him, my instructor looked nothing like him, the bastard was about 6'3 and 230. Three submissions later, me not him, I am allowed to leave and take my aching ass home.
Now for my rant, you smelly bastards who come to the gym, take a freaking shower especially if you are going to be rolling around on a mat with somebody else, I almost tapped out when my nose was buried in some hygiene deficient asshole.
Thanks to all your posts recently, as sson as I can think up nicknames for you I will be adding you to my family.

My football weekend

2005-09-25T16:06:00.000-05:00

Wow what a lazy weekend! Yesterday I receive a phone call at 9:30A.M from a buddy I used to bounce with asking me if I wanted to go to the Gopher vs Purdue game, normally I would have said no, but since Phats and I have been having friendly banter about this game, I decide to attend so that I can talk some shit to phats when purdue loses(luckily they won). My buddy was an gopher, so he had access to pretty good seats. So here I am sitting with a bunch of ex offensive linemen , which brings me to my first rant. Stadium Seats! One of the reasons i dont like to goto sporting events are the danm seats are always so small, I am not a big guy by any means, but I do have pretty broad shoulders for my size. I find it way more comfortable to watch a game at home than be crammed into plastic cage. My diet got shot to shit this weekend,one of the guys smuggled a bunch of double cheese burgers in to the game, I ate THREE! plus a footlong hot dog. I was seriusly hurting that evening. Beause the weather was so shitty, I decided to stay in and watch tv and peruse blogs, man I so need a life.
Sunday I was offered free tickets to the vikings game(man i am a lucky bastard this weekend) again pretty good seats rt on the 50 yard line about 18 rows back, but still contained in these damn small seats. More metrodome hotdogs, and I dont even like hotdogs. The vikings finally won a game, and they did it in convincing fashion. After the game i decide to visit the devils lair, otherwise known as Target, I defy anybody to go into that store and buy one item. Which brings me to my second rant! OK people ths is how you leave a parking lot, you get in your car, you put on your seatbelt, you reverse out and you goto your next destination. You do not get in the car and then decide to fart around for 5 minutes while people are waiting for you to vacate your parking space. Also you people who want to wait around for 5 minutes for that good parking spot and delay everybody behind you, GIVE IT UP! Drive your lazy ass the additional 20 yards and walk, the exercise will do u good.
On a somber note apparently last week's date did not go as well that i thougt it did, because she has not tried to contact me at all since the date. Ladies I understand that not every date is going to be love connection,and if that is the case, just let the guy know, trust me he will appreciate knowing where he stands instead of having to consult Ms. Cleo and her psychic network to figure out where he stands from your mixed signals.
AAArrrggghhhh the weekend is almost over, work would be such a good place if I didn't have to be there 5 days a week.

A football weekend

2005-09-24T10:12:00.000-05:00

Just scored a free ticket to today's minnesota Gopher game, and scored another ticket to the vikings game tomorrow, there goes all my plans of a productive weekend!

I have been hacked

2005-09-23T16:44:00.000-05:00

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh, some cock sucking, cum guzzling, sheep fucking asshole has hacked my blog. If any of you www wonders know how to fix my problem, please share.
For some strange reasoon whenever you roll over the titles of my blogs, it brings up a link to a free mp3 site. I do not condone this, I just want to be able to link my post occasionally with other posts.
Help

New family member

2005-09-23T16:08:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to welcome Phats n Nuttyblond to my blog family, it's funny I ws going to add them today, when I recieved a posting that he had added me, Great minds think alike. Just don't be too mad after the weekend.

My ugly addiction

2005-09-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

OK I am on my prep for school, and what am I doing? Preparing for my upcoming classes? no, thinking of new ways to reach my problematic students? Hell no, thinking up brand new and exciting lesson plans? You have to be kidding me. No i am feeding my ugly addiction to blogging, any spare chance I get i check my blogs and my blog family to see what is going on. I need rehab.
My principal came into my class and told me she is so happy that I am here, this really made me feel good, too often teachers are not recognised for the work that they do, and this is even by people who know what kind of job you have. So my words of wisdom for the day are if you know someone who is doing a good job, or just outright deserves a compliment, go up to them and let them know, they will appreciate it.

More rants and raves

2005-09-22T21:25:00.000-05:00

Firstly I just want to say i love bars with wireless internet connections, i am sitting at a bar, having a drink, waiting for my food, and posting my latest entry. Isn't technology great.
Ok i am off the opinion that some people should not be allowed to drive, and have kids. Today I spy woman drive past me looking for a parking spot, as she passes by, i peep inside of her car, in there I see a baby in a baby carriage, this poor child ws not even strapped in, I was horrified, it is Idiots like these who are allowed to procreate, and I have problems just finding a girlfriend. This woman is looking around for a parking spot, when she drives right into a red truck! A RED FUCKING TRUCK, how do you not see a three ton vehicle in the most recognised color. She did not even stop to inspect the damage, she just drove away, no note, no explanation, nothing. I took down her details and left the info on the truck owners windshield. I hope karma catches up with this bad driving, poor excuse for a mother.
Next rant have you ever seent the seinfeld episode where, Jerry leaves his car with a valet, and the valet leaves a stench in the car. That happened to me today, I dropped my car off at the car wash, and after I picked it up there was the nastiest BO odor left in my car, to be honest I was not that mad, I mean the guy was obviously working hard, and it's notlike I couldn't open the window, I just found it amusing.
Not a rant. I just saw the funniest sign at the Uptown Theatre "Hellbent, the first gay vampire movie" I thought this ws hilarious, it brings up all types of jokes like where do yu suck the blood from? or what else do you suck? Its the little things in life that amuse me.

My rants

2005-09-22T13:45:00.000-05:00

Ok I have a couple of rants today

People who call my cell phone and ask who is this? look dumbass you called me, figure out who you are calling then politely ask to speak to whoever you need to speak to, not try to be all tough and shit and say who is this.
Because I am the greatest teacher in the world, well at least in my school, the principal has decided to stick more at risk students in my class. Here's an idea, talk to the the other teachers, back them up on discipline and keep class numbers even. It's not my fault that I believe in discipline and an orderly class room.
The games we play when dating. If you had a good date, and like somebody why should I have to wait the obligatory 3 day period before trying to contact that person, it's just plain stupid, it does not mean that I am needy, or psycho, or whatever stupid ass term you crazees come up with, it just means that I am interested, enjoyed your company and would like to have more fun times with you sooner than later. This also applies to the fellas, if a girl calls you after a date do not take that as the go ahead to fuck with her mind just because she shows some initiative.

Ok im done for now, I feel better getting that off my chest, everybody have a great day

Peaks and valleys

2005-09-21T23:34:00.000-05:00

Life is full of peaks and valleys, after yesterdays wonderful day, I was hoping that it would carry into today, alas no such luck. School was mediocre today, I tell you I cannot wait until I make that move to cali. Anyways the weather was extremely unpredictable I could not take the dog out for a walk because it was close to 90, then once it cooled down, it started raining cats and dogs(where did that saying come from?) I had to wait until 10.30 before there was a break in the weather, soon as there was a break I went for a quick mile and half run with the dog, just to get him some exercise. Then i had a conversation with a friend about the importance of money, and when I say conversation I use that term loosely. I know money is important, but i don't believe you should let it control your life or let it influence you on how happy it can make you. In the end I knew I could not change this persons mind so i took the high road and excused myself from the conversation. Remember folks money can buy material objects, but that is not the key to happiness.

What a great day

2005-09-21T14:11:00.000-05:00

Ok folks, sorry I was not able to post yesterday, had an extremely busy day, but still a good day.firs of all I want to say that I love Tuesdays, all of my classes are good, almost no problems.
Got pulled over for doing 60 in a thirty five, and not using my turn signals. Cop let me off with a warning, today is going to be a good day. After school my principal wanted to meet with me and my academic team to discuss moving some of the problem students around, so as to make the other classes more bearable. So in the meeting my principal starts to give me Kudos for the jhob I have been doing. I have had to totally revamp the program I have walked into, there has been no structure for the last five years, and I have been trying to get some type of organisation into the class room. So I am feeling pretty good about having my efforts recognised. After the meeting, I decide I want to trade in my new laptop for a more powerful one. Luckily I have friends who work at best buy, so I was able to trade my laptop for a more powerful one at a reduced price, the only downside was I had to wait 3 hours for them to reconfigure the laptop. But I'm still smiling.
Now Today was the day I was supposed to meet with supposedly hot girl from my Women post I call her to try and set up a meeting time, and she postpones on me. She said that she was meeting a friend, and can she call me later around 7 or 8, dissapointed I agreed ok. 7 o clock rolls around, no phone call, 8 P.M no phone call, 9 P.M no phone call. By this time I am somewhat pissed, I have been waiting for this girl all evening, I have not eaten, and not even a phonecall to say I'm sorry. 9.17 finally she calls, but she has already eaten, man this date is not going to be a good one. We finally agree on a plce where we can meet, except I went to the wrong bar, but eventually met up with her.
So first impressions, she is definitely different to all the other kinds of girls which i date, and I dont mean that in a bad way, luckily she did not look like mariah carey, I was glad that she looked better than the picture which was sent to me. We sat down to have a few drinks, i had to order food due to not eating all day. Our conversation was quite pleasant, we were able to talk about common interests, with just the right amount of sexual innuendo to keep the conversation interesting. After dinks and pizza we decided to goto another bar and play trivia, when we get into my car, i open the door for her first(mama raised me right) then I walk over to my side to see her trying to open my door. She has just passed one of the tests, at least she is considerate enough to try and open my door. We arrive at the other bar and start to play trivia, and I use the term we lightly, it was really just me playing trivia, but my date sat there and put up with my geeky need to play a complete stranger at trivia. This girl is scoring big points now. We ended up closing that bar down, alas it was time for our date to end. I drove her back to her car, tried to find out if she is free this weekend, turns out she is busy. Now the end of the night, to I try to lay one on her, or just do the gentlemenly thing and give her a hug, I was trying to read her body language, and it looked like she wanted a good night kiss, but i chickened out. I wanted a second date, and I have a fear of rejection. On the way home we continued talking on our cell phones until we arrived at our respective homes, there we bid our farewells, and we will probably try to get together next week.
halfway decent lookin, check
has a brain, check
has a sense of humour, check(she is no steph though, but who is)
bangs like a pornstar, lets hope so

Post LA

2005-09-19T23:18:00.000-05:00

Ok I am now back in the land of 10000 lakes, or puddles whatever you want to call them. I arrived back in mpls this morning at 5.30 A.M. The one good thing that happened, I had no body sitting next to me on the red eye, so I Sttrrreeeetttccchhheeddd out and was actually able to get some sleep, only three hours, but a needed three hours. I get home to find one of my tenats has totally screwed up my internet connection. I spent the next 45 mns trying to fix it before I had to go to work, but alas no luck. School went pretty good today, I only had one asshole to deal with today, but unfortunately it is the same asshole who has been giving me and every other teacher a hard tiime. After school I spend about an hour with tech support trying to get my connection up, still no go. By this time I am exhausted so I take one of the best naps of my life, i'm talking 2 hours of pure hard core sleep, man that felt good. later on the evening I receive a phone call from new friend if I can help her pick out a computer, i say sure why not, een though I need to fix my internet, the power of a cute girl will always win me over. i go help her pick out a cpu, and get her a discount to boot. She invites me to come over to her house later, but I am starting to feel a little wary of said girl, she doesn't seem to be feeling me as much as when we first started talking.
I go over to the house later on that night, to do some school work, and she can do some paper work. Half an hour later she says she is tired, so I pack up my things and go to the nearest bar. I have a feeling this one is over before it even got started. i cannot understand why it is so difficult to find a decent, halfway attractive girl, who can hold a conversation, and still bang like a porn star. (steph you don't count you live in florida).

Busted Ass weekend

2005-09-18T16:17:00.000-05:00

OK I finally have a moment to post, what a hectic last couple of days I have had, starts off not getting any sleep because I am being a good friend, and hanging out with friend who just broke up with boyfriend, friend offers to drop me off at airport, I agree, I'll save some money not getting a cab. turns out my friends driving is slower than FEMA! Consequently I get to the airport later than I wanted, then to top things off they only have 1 person working the ticket counter. So the line is moving slowly. By the time I get to the counter, I am 1 minute late for checking in, 1 MINUTE! SO now they wont let me on the plane, I ask to speak to a supervisor, it takes him 12 minutes to respond. So now I am livid. I am now delayed in Mpls for 3 hours, and I will arrive in LA 2 hours late. And the asshole supervisor assigned me a seat which does not recline, so even sleeping will be somewhat difficult. When i finally arrive in LA my friends have gone out already, and tell me to meet them at this club.
I drive to the club and upon entering, I cannot find my friend anywhere, and his phone is not getting reception, so i wander around for about half an hour brfore i finally run into him. He is absolutely blotto, he tells me he is going to walk his girlfriend to her car, and will wait for him, I reply sure, I'll be right here. Half an hour later he has not returned, so I just figure, he and girlfriend have gone home, and he is too drunk to remember about me, so I drive back to his place, keep in mind I am not a LA native, and all driving here for me is new territory. I finally arrive at his house, and he is not there, turns out he is still at the club. Luckily his girlfriend volunteered to go get him.
Sat. I wake up to goto take my test and they have half the damn airport blocked off, so I am going frantic on how to make it to the test site in time, I arrive with 5 mins to spare, and take the test. I don't want to jinx myself, but I think I aced it. Ok first part of my day is over, next is the meeting with my background investigator, I have to admit that did not go as smoothly as I wanted, I tied to be as honest as possible, so I told him all about my past transgressions, this included drug usage, speeding tickets, work problems. The way he reacted did not seem that favourable, but I was just trying to be honest with him, LA has the reputation of having one of the most corrupt police forces in the U.S. And here you have a teacher with good ethics, a want to help others, someone willing to work in one of the toughest areas in the U.S. and I am having all these hurdles, I tell you sometimes there is no justice.
Later that night my friends want to go bowling, now I use the term friends very loosely, it's not that these are bad people, but I barely know these people, I go bowling with them, which was kind of fun, but I am still feeling kind of an outsider. These guys are cool guys, its just that they don't know me, and i don't know them. There all getting drunk and having a good time, and I am sober slowly withdrawing into myself. After bowling they decide they want to goto a place I have never seen before. The best way I can describe this place is a karaoke bar, except you rent your own soundproof room and you and all your buddies sing your hearts off in your own private room. A pretty cool idea. Again all of these guys are getting increasingly more drunk, and I am nowa shrinking violet. Let me tell you something about karaoke, if you are not drunk, it is a bunch of people murdering well known songs, now I dont want to sound like a snob, if i was drinking, I probably would have been doing my best Killers, Ramones impression, but as it goes I 'm stone cold sober. I make my excuses, and go home to my couch.
Back at the house, I am just getting comfortable, ready to finally get some sleep, when drunk posse comes home. Hey its the weekend, it's their house, they have the right to cut loose, unfortunately i'm exhausted.
It is now sunday, the vikings got their ass whooped, and I have to wait till midnite until my plane leaves, I don't even have the energy to go surfing today. This was not my best trip. A busted ass interview, and the one friend I had originally planned to see is out of my life. All in all not a good weekend. Hopefully the week will be better, but I doubt it.